


Shatter

by Id_flyifihad_wings



Series: Break [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abaddon is actually useful, Angst, Dark Dean Winchester, Dean in Denial, Heartbreak, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Oops, Pretty Much Everyone Dies, Protective Dean Winchester, and semi good, except the one person you want to die, lots of death, they live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:07:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Id_flyifihad_wings/pseuds/Id_flyifihad_wings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't supposed to end up like this. They were supposed to get married, be happy, live a semi normal life. </p><p>Crowley is itching for some company, and Dean just happens to be on his list. Metatron is ready for revenge, and the Winchester's are in his way. </p><p>Demons have never upset Castiel as much as now and he's hoping to make everything right. Can they save Dean in time, or will it be too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unbearably Desperate

**Author's Note:**

> Season 9 finale spoilers!! I used the script from the show, and I don't own rights. All rights go to their respective owners. 
> 
> Also, this book will follow season 10 pretty well. Maybe a few episodes from the actual show, but mostly just in between episode things.

Castiel stands over the three angels, looking down at their faces. They were lead by Virgil. The angel had been a problem for Castiel and the others before. He was followed by Ephraim and Nathaniel. 

"Why are you here? What purpose does your little mission serve? And why are you allying with one of the Rit Zien?" Castiel asks, circling around them slowly. He was careful not to disturb the ring of holy fire around them.

Charlie had helped Cas tie them up after they had managed to knock them out. It didn't take much to stop them, which was rather disheartening if you asked Castiel.

"Why should we tell you anything?" Virgil spits out, baring his teeth as he struggles with the bindings. As far as Cas was concerned, Virgil was following orders. The question remained, who's?  
\----  
*30 Minutes Earlier*

Castiel stands his ground as the three streaks, that were angels, land in front of them. Gabriel was standing by his brother in an instant and Sam steps in front of Charlie and Kevin, who was still unconscious on the bed.

"Castiel, give us Dean Winchester." the leader growls out as Castiel looks them over. He knew these angels, they were once his friends. 

"Why do you need Deano?" Gabriel asks them and Virgil turns his attention to the archangel.

"Gabriel. Why are you helping this traitor? He's the one who cast us all out of heaven and helped Naomi kill countless others of our race." Nathaniel speaks up, and Gabriel crosses his arms.

"Have you met me? Since when do I ever help anyone unless it benefits myself?" he answers as Virgil glares at him.

"We could benefit you more than these...abominations. You could join us and help us figure out how to get back into heaven." Virgil tells him but Gabriel chuckles.

"Well, unless either of you are my soul mate and wouldn't mind having wild sex with me every night, then by all means... I'll join you." the archangel replies and the three angels look at him with disgust. 

"Enough small talk! Just give us the Winchester and we'll be on our way, no harm done." Virgil interrupted. 

"Why do you want him?" Sam asks in a dark voice and the angels turn to look at them. 

"That's not of your concern, little Winchester." Ephraim butts in, squinting his eyes at Sam. Castiel steps in front of the door and blocks them from Sam's site.

"It is of our concern if it involves the hunter. He's our friend, Sam's brother, and my soul mate. I will not allow you to take him at your convenience." Castiel says. 

"We need him. He's...important to our cause, Castiel. May we at least speak to him?" Virgil asks and Castiel seems to think it over for a while.

"Very well. He's inside, come in." he motions for them to enter. Sam glances at him in confusion but Cas shoots him a look that says not to tell them anything. 

They enter and Cas follows behind them. He looks over at Gabriel and nods. They both surge forward and attack the angels from behind, while Sam and Charlie get them from in front.

Virgil was the first to react, whirling around and throwing Castiel across the room with a flick of his wrist. Sam grabs Nathaniel by his arm and when he tries to shove him away, Sam flips him onto the table and breaks it. A splintering crack echoes through the room as Nathaniel lands. 

Gabriel helps Charlie with Ephraim, holding his hands behind his back while Charlie kicks him in the stomach. Ephraim's open palms rested on Gabriel's stomach, a ringing sounding through the archangel's head.

His eyes widen as the ringing grows and he tries to let go of the angel's arms, but he finds he can't move. 

"Sam! Help Gabriel, quickly!" Cas shouts as he's fighting Virgil. Sam glanced over and sees a pink light growing over Gabriel's body. Sam grabs Ephraim's collar and punches him, but the glowing doesn't stop. 

"Sam?" Gabriel's voice was strained, and his eyes seem empty and unfocused as he calls the Winchester's name desperately.

"His hands, Sam!" Castiel calls as Virgil holds him down, pounding him with punches. Cas grunts and then knees him in the side, hard, giving him enough time to escape his grasp. 

He threw Virgil across the room into the post separating the front entrance and the beds. Sam manages to shove Gabriel away just as the ringing stops and the pink light peaks. 

Ephraim groans as Sam hits him solidly in the nose with his elbow, knocking him out. Nathaniel grabs Sam from behind, dragging him away and then turning him around to punch him sharply in the jaw. Sam grunts in pain and clutches at his face. 

Gabriel was there in an instant, grabbing Nathaniel's shoulder as his eyes glow and Nathaniel passes out at the touch. Virgil stumbles to his feet, but Castiel shoves him back against the wall, twisting his wrist. Kevin was still unconscious, despite the loud fighting going on around him. 

His forehead shines with sweat and his eyes stay closed.

Virgil passes out as Cas drops him and then looks to Sam. "Is Gabriel ok?" he asks as he walks over to inspect his brother. 

"Yeah, he's fine. Cas, what the hell was that?" he asks with shock plain in his voice. His worry for the archangel was palpable. 

"Ephraim is a part of an elite group of angels called the Rit Zien. In heaven, it was their job to end the misery of the others while we were at war. They can hear the pain of the angels, and they would take it away." Castiel says as Sam goes from interested to confused.

"Basically they blow away the angels and kill them off if they're too badly injured to survive." Gabriel pipes in easily. Sam makes a surprised sound and blinks.

"He kills angels?" he asks and Castiel nods.

"Only the ones they know wouldn't survive. It's just another job that God created for us." he says. Sam looks down at Ephraim and sighs softly. 

"We need to tie these guys up somewhere. I have a feeling they won't stay out for long." Charlie finally puts in. 

Castiel nods and moves over to Nathaniel and Ephraim. "Gabriel, help me move them to that warehouse." he tells him, and Gabriel nods as he moves over to Virgil. 

"We'll be back for you three in a second." Gabriel reassures them as he reaches up. Castiel had disappeared, so Gabriel went over and transported Charlie and Kevin, and then Virgil. 

"Thank you. For saving my life, Samster." he says softly and Sam looks down at him with a smile. 

"Of course, Gabriel. I- I don't think I would've....been ok if you'd died." Sam admits softly. Gabriel sighs quietly and raises his hand to fly them to the warehouse, but Sam grabs his wrist and pulls him into a deep, kiss. 

Sam licks at his bottom lip and Gabriel grants him entrance quickly. Sam's hand rests on one of Gabriel's arms, his fingers gripping at the fabric of his jacket and his other hand wrapped around Gabriel's wrist still. 

It wasn't until someone clears their throat that Sam pulls away to see Cas standing there, one eyebrow raising. "I thought you had gotten into more trouble, but it seems you're just...kissing." he said with a slight tilt of his head.

Sam let go of Gabriel's hand, and gave Cas a small smile. Gabriel reaches a hand up and settles his fingers on his lips, looking surprised. 

Gabriel raises his hand again and flies them to the warehouse. Cas follows behind them and then looks over at Sam. Charlie had tied them up already, setting them in the middle of the floor and propping them up with the other angels. 

"The bunker had holy oil, so I went there first to get it." Cas tells them as he grabs a lighter from his pocket and presses at the switch. His hands fumble at the new instrument, until finally Sam takes it from him and lights it with one click.

He throws it on the ground, and the circle of holy fire around them burst into flame. Virgil was the first to open his eyes, followed by the others. Sam had gone to help Gabriel and Charlie move Kevin to somewhere more comfortable. 

Castiel stands over the three angels, looking down at their faces. They were lead by Virgil. The angel had been a problem for Castiel and the others before. He was followed by Ephraim and Nathaniel. 

"Why are you here? What purpose does your little mission serve? And why are you allying with one of the Rit Zien?" Castiel asks, circling around them slowly. He was careful not to disturb the ring of holy fire around them.

Charlie had helped Cas tie them up after they had managed to knock them out. It didn't take much to stop them, which was rather disheartening if you asked Castiel.

"Why should we tell you anything?" Virgil spits out, baring his teeth as he struggles with the bindings. As far as Cas was concerned, Virgil was following orders. The question remained, who's?

"It's in your best interest. I will kill you if you don't tell us." Cas answers and Virgil laughs, the other two joining him.

"Just like Castiel to show his cowardice and want to kill us. Like you haven't killed enough of our kind." Nathaniel shoots back, grimacing. 

"It's not cowardice, it's loyalty. The Winchester's have been my greatest friends for a long while, now. And I don't take kindly to others wanting to kill or hurt them. So tell me, why are you wanting Dean Winchester?" he asks again. 

"If you kill us, there will be more angels sent out to find the Winchester. We will not stop until we have him, Castiel." Ephraim tells him, smirking as Cas's fists clench. 

"Well will hunt Dean Winchester down and kill him unless you let us go and tell us where he is." Virgil adds. 

"I have no idea where he's gone. He left us before you arrived." he answers quietly. 

"So he's defenseless? Virgil this is the perfect time to track him down. We can find him faster than any of them." Nathaniel whispers to Virgil. 

"No, Castiel knows where he is. The Winchester is his soul mate, he can feel where he is." Virgil says back. 

"You know, Castiel, it wouldn't be hard to track the Winchester. He's so loud, and all he does is hunt down monsters. There are three of us, so we could each go to a different location to find him. Black 1967 Chevy Impala, KAZ-2Y5 license plate." Ephraim tells him, grinning viscously and trying to distract Castiel from what Virgil and Nathaniel were saying.

Castiel glares at him, his knuckles white around the angel blade. "Stop." he warns calmly, but Ephraim doesn't listen.

"Green eyes, light brown hair, 6 foot 1, freckles. We know what he looks like, where he eats, where he likes to stop for gas." he growls, and Cas surges forward, stabbing the angel blade through his chest. Ephraim was close enough to the outside that Cas didn't have to step inside the holy fire ring.

Bright blue light pools out of Ephraim's eyes and mouth as he opens it in a silent scream. Castiel twists the blade in further and then steps back. "I tried to tell you three that I'm not playing around here. I am very serious about this." he snarls.

Gabriel suddenly appears in front of Cas and fends him off as Virgil laughs shortly. "We need them alive. We need the information, Cassie." Gabriel reminds him, but Cas barely hears him over the blood pounding in his ears.

Nathaniel eyes Cas warily and then nudges Virgil. "We should tell him. Maybe if he knew he'd let us go." he suggests as Virgil looks over at him. 

"I'm not so sure." Virgil answers softly. "Castiel, we have a proposition." he adds to Cas who starts pacing. 

"Please, do tell." he says and Virgil clears his throat before continuing. He notices the archangel hadn't left the room, probably for Castiel's own good.

"We will tell you why we want Dean Winchester... If you let us go after we do. We both have a feeling that once you hear why we want him, you will agree it is best to let us take him." Virgil finally answers. 

"How about you tell me anyway, and then I'll decide if it's worthwhile to let you go or not." Cas retorts, glaring at Virgil who seems put out.

"Fine." he agrees. Cas crosses his arms and waits, watching as Virgil shifts his hands and feet before answering.

"We want the Winchester for one reason only. His heart chakra is damaged, and we can help you fix it. He will be back to the Dean you all know and love. Of course you will need to continue the healings over a course of a week. We will teach you how to continue the healings once we have started them." Virgil tells them.

"Why do you want to heal him? Dean has never been exceptionally kind to any of you." Castiel points out as Gabriel squints and looks them over.

"That is for us to know, and you to find out." Nathaniel replies before Virgil could. 

"How do we know we can trust you two? It's not like you're the most honest group of angels ever known." Gabriel pipes in suddenly. 

"You can. Trust me, this is something you want." Virgil sighs, looking annoyed at having to keep talking. Nathaniel stays quiet this time, letting Virgil talk instead.

"I have an idea. I'll take the grace of one of you. Once you return Dean and show me how to continue the healing, you'll get it back. A trade for a trade." Cas says. Virgil's eyes widen slightly as he exchanges a glance with Nathaniel.

"Very well, that can be arranged. Nathaniel will give you his grace as I am the one to do the healing." Virgil tells him as Nathaniel nods in agreement. 

"Gabriel." Cas prompts and the archangel raises his hand, closing his eyes and getting rid of the flames. Cas cut their bindings and then motions for Nathaniel.

"I am sorry for the pain." he says just before he cuts into Nathaniel's throat. A stream of blue light flows out, and Cas raises the bottle in his hand, trapping it in with a hollow clunk. 

Nathaniel groans softly, kneeling in the ground and clutching at the wound. Cas stands him up and runs his hand over it, closing the gash easily. 

"We will return as quickly as we can Castiel." Virgil tells him as he raises his hand and flies both him and Nathaniel away. 

"Was that really the best idea, Cas?" Gabriel asks softly as Cas turns away and sighs heavily.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. I just hope Nathaniel wants his grace more than Dean." he admits. Gabriel pats his shoulder and gives him a reassuring smile. 

"On the bright side, we can go back to the motel." he points out, making Castiel smile slightly. The angel nods and chuckles lightly.

"Yes. I suppose we can." Cas agrees. They both fly back to the room where Sam and Charlie are watching over Kevin. "We are going to fly back to the motel. We struck a deal with Virgil and Nathaniel." Cas tells them.

"What about the other one? Ephreem?" Charlie points out.

"Ephraim. I lost control and killed him." Cas admits easily, not ashamed in the slightest. Charlie sighs slightly and tilts her head as if to 

"It's no big deal! Come on, Ephraim wasn't that big of an angel. There are other Rit Zien." Gabriel says, waving off Sam's worried expression. 

"The other Rit Zien died in the fall, Gabriel. There aren't any left." Castiel tells him gently, looking a bit sad about it. Gabriel sighs and shakes his head as he walks over and sits by Sam. 

"Come on. I've got Sasquatch if you'll take Charlie and Kevin." Gabriel jumps up and raises his hand to Sam's head. They disappear with a small flutter of wings and Castiel shakes his head slightly.

"Let's go." he motions to Charlie who helps a groggy Kevin stand. Cas flies them back and then looks over at Gabriel who looks exhausted.

"I'm surprised your tiny wings can carry Sam." Cas teases and Gabriel shoots him a glare.

"My wings are not tiny! They're all bigger than yours. I'm surprised yours can carry Dean." he retorts, crossing his arms.

"Just because Dean is a bit fuller than Sam doesn't change the fact that he's much shorter and easier to carry. Although I'll admit at first he was terrified of flying, but I'm not sure why." Cas shoots back calmly.

"Dean's got a fear of flying." Sam pipes in as Gabriel is about to say something.

"Yeah, well....Sam-"

"Wait! You said 'all'. How many wings do you have?" Charlie asks, interrupting Gabriel's triad quickly. 

"He's got four." Sam speaks for him and Gabriel ruffles his wings in Sam's face. Sam bats them away with a smile on his face.

"Double the fun. In bed, out of it. Wherever Samster prefers." he says with a wolffish grin. Sam blushes and rolls his eyes in defiance.

"You wish." he growls as Charlie and Gabriel burst into laughter. Castiel shakes his head and sighs heavily.

"Despite the fact that it contradicts everything Dean said, you two will have to share a different room." Cas tells Sam and Gabriel with a look of annoyance.

Gabriel whoops and then places two fingers on Sam's head. He waves and then they disappear with another flutter of wings. 

Cas stares at the space they were in for a moment and then turns back to Charlie who was placing Kevin on one of the beds. "You and I are sharing a bed?" he asks and she nods.

"Yeah. I figured since he was still fucking passed out he wouldn't be great company." she chuckles and Cas sits on the other bed with a frown.

"I'm worried about Dean. I know what he did to all of us was horrible, but-" Cas stops as Charlie makes a clicking noise with her mouth.

"Stop, Cas. I'm worried about him too. It doesn't matter what he did, that wasn't him. I don't really understand the whole chakra thing Sam tried to explain to me, but it doesn't matter. What does matter is that Dean is still our friend and he's out there alone." she agrees with a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, Charlie. Your loyalty never ceases to amaze me." Cas tells her. Charlie gives him a smug smile and shrugs. 

"I know."  
\----  
Sam grabs Gabriel's hand and pulls him down into the bed. "Come on, you look exhausted. You should rest." he says.

"We don't sleep, Sam. I don't need to rest." Gabriel grumbles, trying to get back up. Sam holds him down, wrapping his arms around the archangel's waist.

"Gabriel, please, for me. Cas said you don't have to sleep but that you could. Just let it overtake your vessel." Sam answers softly, snuggling closer and nuzzling into Gabriel's neck happily. 

"Sammy, I'm not tired, or exhausted, or whatever. Just let me go." he tells him gently. Sam shakes his head and pulls him closer.

"I'm not letting you go, ever." his mouth turns up in a smile as he speaks, and Gabriel can feel his heart fluttering. He lets himself relax into Sam's grip and closes his eyes. 

Sam's breathing grows shallower as he falls asleep and Gabriel finds himself being dragged headfirst into the realm of sleep. He didn't remember the last time he'd slept, in fact he couldn't recall if he ever had.

Sam's strong arms pull him closer and finally, with the musky scent of Sam's skin in the air, he falls asleep for the first time ever.

What seems like a few minutes later, a sharp pain stabs through Gabriel's wing and he bolts awake. Sam was gone, and Gabriel glances at his wing to see there is a feather missing. Sam's spot was cold so he flies back to the other room to see Kevin, Charlie, and Cas were all gone as well.

"What the hell is goin' on here?" he wonders out loud. 

"Haven't you ever had a dream before, brother? Oh, that's right. You've never slept before. Well, this dream is about to turn sour." he voice echoes through Gabriel's mind as he stumbles back. 

He flies off, anywhere he can think off. The last place he'd though he'd go was the bunker, but that's where he ends up. "You can't escape me. I'm a part of you now, you'll just have to learn to accept it. Especially now that Sammy'll be there for you. Doesn't that just put a smile on your face?" 

Gabriel flies off again, ignoring the voice. He knew it from somewhere, but couldn't quite place its origin. 

"I've already told you, Gabriel. There's no escape. You're trapped here, until I have fully succeeded in my nightmare." an evil, menacing laugh follows the words, and Gabriel immediately stops.

"Lucifer! What are you doing in my head?" he shouts as he looks around, his golden wings flapping to keep him in the air.

"I'm not in your head, not any more than you are. You're dreaming about me, it's that simple. Come now, brother, can't I see you again? I have missed you...after all, we were pretty good friends in heaven." Lucifer answers with a maniacal giggle.

Gabriel's wings tremble from the reminder. He and Lucifer had been great friends, but that was a few thousand millennia ago. "Just show yourself already! I'm tired of your games." he shouts back.

"Ooh, but I'm not. And I'm just getting started. In fact, you'll be seeing a whole lot more of me pretty soon. Hope you're ready for what I have in store. Until then, have fun with Sam...while you can." Lucifer whispers the last three words and the sky around Gabriel fades and distorts.

Gabriel bolts awake, opening his eyes and startling Sam. "Are you ok?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes warily. 

"I had a weird dream. It wasn't fun, actually it was terrifying." he replies with worry, the words Lucifer had said echoing through his mind.

"You had a nightmare? I'm sorry, Gabriel. Do you want to talk about it?" Sam wonders gently but Gabriel stands, shaking his head and starting to pace the room.

"Not a nightmare, it was prophetic." he answers, grabbing Sam's wrist and pulling him forward until his hand reaches his head. He flies them into the other room to see Kevin eating a small bowl of soup. 

Charlie and Cas sat beside him. "Gabriel. Kevin had another prophecy involving you and something called the daystar." Cas tells him, looking worried.

"The daystar? What the hell's that?" Gabriel asks as he returns Cas's worried expression. Kevin shrugs and glances at Sam.

"The prophecy was this. The Golden and the daystar will be the undoing of the the city." Kevin tells him, looking slightly confused.

"The city? What city? And what does it mean undoing?" Gabriel questions frantically. Charlie stands up and goes to the window as a clatter sounds outside.

"Hey, Cas? Those angel guys are back." she tells him. Cas jumps quickly to his feet and goes to the door. 

He opens it in a rush but nearly screams when he sees they don't have Dean. "What the hell happened?" Kevin asks with curiosity. 

"Where is Dean?" Cas asks hurriedly and Virgil sighs. One side of his cheek was bruised and Nathaniel was even worse off now that he was human.

"Dean attacked us. It was all I could do to get Nathaniel out of there alive. He's much stronger than he should be for a human." Virgil answers sadly. Sam feels his stomach drop at the words.

"Metatron is getting stronger as well. It seems he's getting the humans in on his little escapade. Dean told us he was going to try and kill him." Nathaniel tells them angrily. Virgil stills him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Metatron?" Cas exclaims softly, eyes widening slightly. Virgil nods, seeming to shrink at the mention of the angel's name again. 

Metatron hadn't been a problem for a while now. Cas couldn't believe after all this time, that he would finally act, especially now that Dean was going nuts. 

"Cas, obviously the problem here is the mark of Cain. And we've already established angels can't take it off. So I don't get why we're still letting these dickbags help us." Gabriel chimes in, crossing his arms. 

"He has the mark of Cain? That would've been important to know before we went to hunt him down." Virgil growls at them. 

"So Cas forgot to mention it. Mostly it hasn't been a problem, just a few killing sprees here and there." Sam interrupts, shrugging as if it's completely normal. 

"It seems Castiel forgot to mention a few things." Nathaniel shoots back, giving Cas a glare. 

"Yeah, it seems I have. But by that definition, so did you. How did you find him so fast?" Cas asks, tilting his head ever so slightly and squinting his bright blue eyes.

"We already knew where he was. I just wanted to make sure you would be ok with us taking him." Virgil says with a small sigh. He seems drained all of a sudden. 

"We took the liberty of installing a bug in his car, so we'll all be able to hear and listen on his conversations. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out his location from that." he adds as he grabs something from inside his jacket lapel. 

He hands a small laptop to Cas and then clears his throat before continuing. "It's just the audio, but it should help." he tells him and Cas nods gratefully.

"Thank you, Virgil. I will inform you if we need anymore help." he says as Virgil and Nathaniel head to the door. 

"Would you mind returning my grace?" Nathaniel pipes up before they leave.

"Not yet, Nathaniel. There's something I need you to do." he informs him and Nathaniel gulps softly.  
\----  
"Drop the blade, Dean." Sam growls out, standing between his brother and Gadreel. Dean had come back, surprisingly. He had ended up being only a few miles away in a small town, thinking things over. Once he'd come back he'd apologized to everyone for the way he acted. 

They'd left Nathaniel with Charlie and Kevin to watch them and protect them. Virgil had left to find out more about everything that was happening.

"Move." Dean snarls back, glaring at Gadreel who was bleeding everywhere. His grace was leaking from his cuts and bruises. 

"Dean. Look at me." Sam pleads softly, but Dean refuses to meet Sam's stare.

"Sam! Move!" he yells and Cas jumps at him. "Ahh!" he exclaims as Castiel grabs him. Sam leaps forward to grab the blade from him. 

"Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!" Sam screams in between his panting and wrestling with Dean. 

Finally, Cas raises his hand to Dean's forehead and the hunter's eyes close as he slumps forward. "I'm sorry, Dean." he whispers gently. Sam helps him carry Dean to the dungeon. 

They shove him inside and stand between him and the door. He was awake now, Cas hadn't wanted the spell to last long. 

"The hell if you think I'm ridin' the pine on this one, guys." Dean tells them with a frown. Sam takes a few steps forward. 

"Something is wrong with you, Dean. And until we figure out what, this is where you have to stay." Sam answers definitively, nodding his head as if to agree with himself.

"And you two are gonna do what? Take on Metatron yourselves? That's smart. Oh, no, wait. No, you-" he cuts himself off to motion at Castiel. "You lost your angel army. And you-" he cuts himself off again to glare at Sam. "Now you're trying to lock up the one guy who has a shot at killin' the son of a bitch! Hell of a plan, fellas!" Dean throws his arms up in defiance.

Without another word Sam and Cas walk out of the room. The doors lock behind them, leaving Dean inside. They can hear Dean calling out to them as they walk off.

"Look, hey, guys. Sam. Sammy!" 

Cas wobbles unsteadily on his feet once they get out of the room. "I can't keep doing this, Sam. He's- it's too much." he says softly as Sam looks over at him. He doesn't say anything else.

They reach the main floor and Sam goes to put the blade in a box. "Sam." Cas calls softly.

"Yeah?" Sam prompts him as he closes the lid.

"Dean...wasn't wrong. My followers have abandoned us." he admits quietly, looking hopeless. 

"Yeah, and Gadreel says he can help us. From where I sit, that's more than an even trade." Sam answers. They both turn to help Gadreel, but he has disappeared.

They exchange a glance and then Cas has to brace himself on the table because the weight of everything crashing down at the same time is too much for him to bare. Castiel sobs, but no tears pour from his eyes. All he can do is squeeze his eyes shut to try and drown out the thoughts in his head from Dean.

"Come on, Cas. He can't have gone too far." Sam tells him as he helps him up the stairs. 

They ran outside and to the field by the bunker. Gadreel was laying on his back somewhere in the brush. They arrive to see his chest bleeding profusely and he was somewhat unconscious.

Sam and Cas hurry over, and Gadreel's head snaps up. "Please. I'll leave you alone, I swear." he pleads roughly. 

Cas kneels by him and reaches out his hand. "We're not here to hurt you." he says as he is about to heal him.

"No. Your grace. Healing me will only weaken you." Gadreel pants, but Cas doesn't hesitate. He places his hand on Gadreel's forehead and heals him. 

"Did you hear him?" he asks and Cas nods. 

"Metatron. Yes. Where is he going? What does he want?" Cas questions. Gadreel pauses for a moment and then grimaces.

"I'm afraid...humanity." he finally answers. They help him stand and then head back to the bunker. Cas could feel the unfamiliar ache returning in his stomach, and he silently wonders if Dean will be ok. 

They climb down the stairs and Sam sees the box that held the blade was open. Sam gasps softly and ran to it, but it was empty. 

"Oh, no." he exclaims softly, eyes widening. Gadreel wrinkles his nose up in disgust and glances around.

"What's that smell?" he asks. 

"Sulfur." Sam replies softly. Castiel can feel the ache in his stomach building, and his wings quiver. Another unfamiliar ache settles in his heart, and he can tell his heart was going to shatter.

Sam groans and runs his hand across the table harshly, making the box fly across the room with a small clatter. He runs his hands through his hair and starts pacing. Gadreel watches him with a silent interest but then turns to Cas in confusion.

Sam grabs his phone from his pocket and dials Dean's number. He doesn't answer but Sam leaves a message. "Dean, pick up the phone. Call me back. I'm not kidding, all right? Don't do this. Not like this." he pleads. He closes his phone and sets it on the table.

"Are you sure it was Crowley?" Castiel asks him to distract himself from thinking of the hunter. 

Who else would he summon? I mean, he and Crowley have been bromancing over the blade ever since Dean got the mark." Sam answers frantically. 

"The mark?" Gadreel asks for clarification.

"The mark of Cain." Cas tells him wearily. His head hurt and he didn't want to think about why. 

"So that's what Dean cut me with- the First Blade. In a way, that could be useful." Gadreel says, interrupting Cas's spiraling train of thought.

"What?" Sam ask with disbelief evident in his voice. 

"Well, Metatron is more powerful than ever, but if Dean has the First Blade, and the mark, that might give us our best chance." Gadreel answers happily.

"You're joking, right? An hour ago we were ready to throw Dean in a padded cell, and now you say he's our best chance?" Sam questions in shock. His mouth was slightly agape, but he didn't seem to care.

"Hear him out, Sam." Cas interrupts Sam. 

"Oh, right. Excuse me. Sorry, guys. Uh, sorry I'm a little less than eager to hear that our best chance is- is arming the warhead and hoping it hits the mark. This is not a bomb were taking about. This is my brother." Sam growls harshly. 

'And my soulmate." Cas thinks sadly. 'How am I supposed to go on knowing he's doomed?' he asked himself silently.

"And your brother would not be in this alone. We can help." Gadreel tells him gently.

"How?" Sam asks, crossing his arms and looking like he was to sass off.

"I believe Metatron has found a way to tap into the angel tablet, harnessing its power to give him powers equivalent to-"

"God, right? I mean, that's what this is all about, isn't it? Metatron wants to be God." Sam interrupts him and Gadreel nods. "Great, well, that's basically makes him unstoppable." he groans.

"Not if we can break the connection between Metatron and the tablet. That would make him just and ordinary angel. Where's the tablet?" Cas speaks up. 

"Metatron's office." Gadreel replies with a sigh. 

"In heaven?" Sam asks in awe. 

"I can get us to the door." Gadreel tells them. 

"And then what? I mean, why would they let you in? Metatron's number two shows up with heaven's most wanted," he motions to Castiel, "the gig is up." he finishes. Cas rolls his eyes slightly.

"Sam, we have to try." he says.  
\----  
Castiel and Gadreel arrive at a playground and Cas glances over at the angel in confusion. "The door to heaven is in a playground?" he asks.

"Guarded by two Metatron's most loyal. I recruited them myself. So, you said you had a plan...how we might convince them to let us pass." Gadreel answers and Cas grins.

He pulls out a pair of handcuffs and holds them up. "Wookie." he informs him. Gadreel furrows his brow and looks confused.

"Brother, I have no idea what that means." he says, hoping for clarification.

"It's a reference to a very popular film that- never mind." he shakes his head and than starts to explain to Gadreel the plan. 

They walk up to the playground. Cas's wrists were handcuffed together, and Gadreel led him over to the sandbox.

"Asariel." the little girl speaks up. 

"Asariel, Purah, make way." Gadreel orders confidently. Cas looks annoyed and he lets out a tiny sigh.

"The door's closed, Gadreel, by orders of Metatron." Purah tells him quickly. 

"And who do you think gave the order to capture Castiel? Unless you think Metatron isn't interested in questioning the leader of the rebellion?" Gadreel shoots back, looking out out.

"The spell must be redrawn." Asariel speaks up for the first time and Gadreel turns his attention to her. 

"As quickly as possible, then." Gadreel prompts them. Asariel and Purah start drawing it in the sand, giving Gadreel a few dirty looks.

After a while they finish. A bright light emits from it and Cas and Gadreel step onto it. Two angles meet them as they enter.

Ingrid, Cas didn't know all that well. However, Hannah was once a member of his group. "Well done. We've sent word to Metatron. He'll be back shortly. You can wait inside." Ingrid says as she looks at Gadreel. 

"Thank you, Ingrid." Gadreel dips his head slightly as he leads Cas into Metatron's office. Before their eyes the edges waver and the room turns into a jail cell. Cas and Gadreel are locked up into two different cells.

"What's going on?" Castiel asks desperately, looking afraid.

"No, no, no, no! Not here!" Gadreel exclaims, pacing the cell.

"Did you really think your little ruse would work?" Ingrid asks, a smug smile painting her features. 

"Please. Please!" Gadreel shouts. 

"Welcome to heaven's jail, Castiel. I believe Gadreel can give you the tour." she sneers before walking off. Gadreel groans and bangs his hands against the metal bars shutting them in with frustration.  
\----  
Sam had found Dean with Crowley. He'd gotten a little help from Charlie, but he'd found his brother even if it wasn't exactly Dean. They'd fought, Sam forgave, and they'd gone on their way.

Dean rustles around in the Impala's trunk, digging through things. Sam heads over once he see Dean's hand shaking. He clears his throat and quickly removes his hand from the blade.

"Anything?" he asks, acting like it didn't happen. 

"Uh, yeah. He's up there. About a mile up the road. There's a homeless encampment. The way folks are talking, he's got them convinced he's some kind of new Jesus or something." Sam tells him. Dean nods slightly, leaving Sam worried. "You good?" he questions gently.

"Yeah, I'm good." Dean answers with his signature smile. Sam sighs softly, rolling his eyes at Dean's blatant lie. He reaches over and grabs the First Blade and then hands it to Dean.

"Listen, Sammy, about, uhm, you know, the last couple of months..." Dean trails off and looks up to meet Sam's gaze.

"I know. So, before we find something else to fight about...tell me... Are you ready to gut this bitch?" Sam changes the subject quickly, not ready to face Dean or what had been happening lately. 

He turns around to grab his bag and then turns back to Dean. Without warning, Dean punches him in the jaw and knocks him out cold, a hard look in his eyes. He kneels down and fixes Sam's hand to rest on his chest so it's off the ground.

"Sorry, little brother. It's not your fight." he answers softly as he stands. He lets out a small sighs and then heads away.  
\----  
"Ok, so you're telling me that Metatron set you up, arranged those suicide bombers to make himself look like the victim?" Hannah asks Cas. 

Cas and Gadreel were still trapped in heaven's jail. "Gadreel was his second in command. For what other reason than the truth would he turn against Metatron?" Castiel points out.

"So, now I'm expected to trust the word of an angel who's only ever thought about himself since the Garden, and you? You told us not a single angel more would die in this fight." Hannah tells him, voice desperate.

"What do you think I have been trying to do?" Cas asks her, nearly begging her to understand. 

"Trying? By killing Metatron?" she snaps, eyes hard and cold. 

"He is the reason for all of our suffering." Castiel answers her gently. 

"Nothing you say matters." Hannah snarls as she takes a step back. Cas wants to scream. Scream and yell and shout until she gets it through her head that Metatron wasn't good for any of them.

"Would you rather I not try at all?" he wonders, tilting his head slightly and piercing her soul with his stare.

"Not if you can't prove it." she shoots back unhappily. 

"So give us a chance. Let us out, Hannah. Please." Cas tells her. Hannah looks at him skeptically but doesn't say a word. 

"I sat in this hole for thousands of years, thinking of nothing but redemption, of reclaiming my good name. I thought of nobody, no cause, other than my own." Gadreel suddenly speaks up. 

"You've been redeemed, my friend." Castiel answers him, wondering what he was up to. 

"The only thing that matters in the end is the mission- protecting those who would not and cannot protect themselves- the humans. None of us is bigger than that. And we will not let our fears, our self-absorption prevent us from seeing it through. Not anymore." Gadreel tells him defiantly. 

"No. Of course not." Cas reassures him, panic growing in his voice. 

"Move to the other side of your cell, Castiel, and keep your head down." Gadreel orders him quickly. Cas's eyes stretch wide with fear.

"What are you doing?" he asks him quickly, voice rough. He can't tell what is happening, but Hannah rushes to Gadreel's cell, fumbling with the key to unlock the door. 

"When they same my name, perhaps I won't just be the one who let the serpent in. Perhaps I will be known as one of the many-" 

"Gadreel." Cas's voice is filled with warning and command, but the angel continues.

"-who gave heaven a second chance. Run, sister." Cas scrambles at the bars. Suddenly an explosion echoes through the jail, and the wall comes raining down on Castiel. 

He can hear Hannah moving around as he slowly makes his way out of his busted cell. "Do you believe him now?" he growls out, stumbling slightly as his ankle almost gives out. 

Hannah nods slightly and motions for Cas to follow her. "This way." he calls and he speeds up to follow her down the hallway. 

She leads him to Metatron's office, and then grabs an angel blade before opening the door. Ingrid stands there and then turns to see Hannah and Cas. Hannah charges her, thrusting the blade at her.

"Where is it?" Castiel questions, referring to the angel tablet. She doesn't speak, and Cas's anger grows. He can feel Dean's pain, every punch that Metatron throws reverberating through his head. Not to mention the constant thoughts about 'his angel.' "Remove her." he finally says.

Ingrid's scream fills the room as Castiel rushes around the room, looking for the angel tablet. He could feel Dean growing weaker, his thoughts were slurred as if he was drunk. He looks at Metatron's desk and sees his typewriter. He hurries over and lifts it up to find the angel tablet hidden there. It was glowing extremely bright now. 

He turns to hand Hannah the angel tablet, but suddenly he is falling to the floor with a loud groan of pain. "Dean!" he exclaims, dropping the angel tablet and clutching at his chest as if he couldn't breath. 

His vision blurs and he can feel the air leaving his body. "No. No, no!" he screams, squeezing his eyes shut and willing the pain to stop. For a second he breaks through the wall Dean had set up in his mind and manages to heal Dean enough to get him talking. 

"Dean, please. Don't leave me." Cas pleads desperately, voice broken and breath ragged. Hannah helps him stand and he looks up, showing off the glinting tears in his eyes that made the blue stand out. 

Cas lifts the tablet and throws it to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces. He looks down at it, sniffling softly and rids his eyes of the tears. He goes to sit in Metatron's chair. 

"Well played, Castiel. Obviously, you and Gadreel managed to turn a few dead enders against me." Metatron's voice sounds through the room.

"Gadreel is dead." Cas tells him harshly. 

"Ah. So Gadreel bites the dust. And the angel tablet- arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe- is in pieces, and for what, again? Oh, that's right- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what? He's dead too." Metatron taunts him.

Cas's eyes flick up to meet the angel's stare, horrifying fear in them. "And...you're sitting in my chair." he adds with a small smile. Cas finds his hands being handcuffed to the chair, and he glares at Metatron.

Pain shoots through Cas's body again, as Dean's mind whirls with the anguish of movement. "You will never get away with this." he growls out.

"Get away with what? You told a silly story to get a group of less-than-believers. I'll clean up your mess in an hour." Metatron shoots back, waving off Cas's threat.

"Your give our brothers and sisters far too little credit. They will soon learn that you have been playing them." Castiel retorts quickly. 

"And then? They will do nothing because they are frightened little sheep following my crook wherever it leads. And where I'm taking them, back to our rightful place atop this mountain of human shame and excrement- when that happens, trust me, they're not gonna care how they got there." Metatron tells him, chuckling at the brilliance of it all. 

Cas groans, too softly for Metatron to hear. "You know, while you could never quite pull it together, Castiel, while you're sitting here with your grace slowly burning away and your reputation long extinguished? No curiosity. You didn't read enough. You never learned out to tell a good story." Metatron continues talking.

Cas looks up straight into Metatron's eyes. "But you did." he growls out. He glances across the desk at the microphone he uses to broadcast to the angels which is switched on. The doors are flung open, and a group of angels walks in. They grab Metatron and take him captive, hard looks on all of their faces. Castiel raises his angel blade, but the emotionless wall leaves his eyes.

The angels leave, dragging Metatron with them. Castiel drops the angel blade with a clatter, falling to his knees with a dark scream as agony radiates through him. The thought from Dean racing through his mind. 'I'm sorry, Cas, I failed you.' and then nothing. 

Hannah reaches down and helps him stand again. "He's gone." he informs her, the crack in his voice making him stop. Hannah places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm so sorry, Castiel." she whispers, pulling him into a small hug. She then turns and leads him back to the prison. 

"You're doing the right thing- letting him live. It's what a leader would do." she tells him as she locks the door to Metatron's jail cell. 

"I'm no leader, Hannah. I never was. I just want to be an angel." he says back, looking forlorn. He glances into Metatron's cell. 

"And your grace? What will you do about that? You will die if you don't replenish it." Hannah informs him gently. Cas blinks, and shakes his head slightly. He had no idea what he would do now.

"I'll leave you to him. I... I must go." he tells her quickly, and she nods as he flies off. Tears blur his vision as he lands in the bunker and calls for Sam. 

He wanders around and then finds him in his room, trying to summon Crowley. His own tears are pouring down his face and he finally breaks down, collapsing on the floor in a fit of sobs. 

"Sam." Cas speaks as he kneels beside him. Sam looks up and turns to him, grabbing him and dragging him into a hug. Cas's own tears spill out, running down his face quickly, hot and warm and heavy. 

"He's fucking gone." Sam cries, clutching as Cas's sides as the sobs rack his body. Cas suddenly feels a pull, a tug in his mind. Just as quickly as it appears it goes black. Not gone, but dark and twisted. 

Something supernatural was worming into Cas's mind.


	2. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some minor gore at the end of the chapter. Also I'm a horrible person for what I'm going to do and what I did in this chapter. Nonetheless, enjoy the chapter.

Castiel didn't know what to do. Sitting before him was the love of his life, but it wasn't truly Dean. Dean didn't have this abomination for a face. He didn't have black eyes or bright curving horns. Sam had found him, taken him back to the bunker, brought him before Cas.

Cas didn't know what to do. This wasn't his Dean, but it was. Sam had called him, told him he'd been treating Dean with the pure blood. 

Cas didn't know what to do. 

It didn't seem to be working as well as Sam thought. He'd shown up just in time to stop Dean from attacking or killing his brother. 

He'd asked to see Dean alone before Sam finished the cleansing process. "You know, Cas? When you showed up in front of me, I planned to tell you all these terrible things, but in the end... I just wanna tell you I missed you." Dean says softly, sniffling.

"In the past two years I've started the process of becoming a new man. I am must chastened and remorseful for the reckless and hurtful things I have done in my life, especially those which have brought me before you today." Cas replies as he looks down at the ground. "But it doesn't change the fact that you are not the Dean I know and love." 

"That Dean is long gone. Has been for a while, Castiel. And he's not comin' back. Ever." Dean growls, looking up and glaring at the angel. Cas meets his gaze with a frown, his heart falling.

"Dean, I know what it feels like." he says softly.

"What?" Dean asks in confusion.

"I know what it feels like to want to die. I know how you try to fit in but you can't. I know how you hurt yourself and others on the outside to kill the monster on the inside." Cas answers coldly, returning the glare.

The demon in front of him laughs shortly, pulling up his mouth in a threatening smile. "Shut up, Cas. You don't know how it feels. You've never had to know, because you've never loved someone so much you would do anything to protect them." he snaps, regretting it instantly, because Cas has him.

"Then what does that make you, Dean? I can tell you I'd do anything to keep you safe. I'd do anything to get that mark off your arm so you can live again. I love you, Dean." he says back, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow. His eyes show his determination clearly. 

"Well I didn't ask you to love me, so don't expect me to love you back now." Dean spits out. He can see how much the angel is affected by the words, even if he doesn't show it much. The slight shuffle of his feet, the clenching of his fists, and that quick flash of heartbreak in his beautifully magnificent blue eyes. 

Without another word, Cas turns and leaves the room. "Cas?" Dean's voice calls after him but he hurries out of the room to find Sam waiting outside the door. 

"Hey, Cas, what's wrong, man?" he asks quickly, grabbing his arm as he tries to skirt around him. 

"Nothing. Just finish the cleansing." he answers with a harsh look back at the door.

"Cas, you have to know that that thing isn't Dean. Whatever he said, he didn't mean it, not really." Sam tries again but Cas pulls his arm away. 

"Isn't it sad, Sam? When you've been hurt so many times you can finally say you're used to it?" he questions, making Sam's chest freeze. What exactly had Dean said to the angel to make him so hopeless.

"You wanna know what scares me, Cas? That there has been, and always will be, things we say or do that we will never truly be able to apologize for. Dean is one of those people who has a lot of friends who won't forgive him. Hell, he doesn't forgive himself for half the things he does. Don't shut him out, Cas. After this is over, he'll need you more than ever." Sam pleads with him. 

"How do I forgive him for all the pain and heartbreak he's caused me. I don't...necessarily understand human emotions. What exactly is heartbreak? I can tell you..it's that. What he said to me." Cas answers softly. 

"Heartbreak is lying on the bathroom floor, trying your damnedest to breathe while wondering why it all went wrong and how you're gonna get up. How you're gonna pretend like everything is all right, and how the hell you're gonna fix that hole in your chest. And I can tell you, forgiving is the first step." Sam tells him. 

Cas doesn't want to go back in. But here he stands anyway, with Sam at his side and Dean glaring them down. Sam starts the cleansing again. After a few more doses, Dean passes out. 

His head hangs as Sam pulls another syringe out of his arm. "What the hell are we doing to him, Cas? I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." Sam exclaims softly.

"Well... I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but...also such profound pain. This is easier." Cas answers warily. Suddenly Dean is looking up at them. 

"You look worried, fellas." 

Sam unscrews the flask of holy water and splashes Dean with some of it. Nothing happens and Dean turns a small glare to his brother.

"Welcome back, Dean." Sam says softly. Cas thinks it's the first time he's experienced such a strong emotion flooding his body as Dean gazes at him with affection. He's just not sure if it's rage or love. Then Sam's leaving them to talk. Cas helps Dean to his room, laying him on the bed and then sitting on the chair beside his bed.

"Why don't you come lay with me?" he asks softly and Cas can't hold back his scoff. Dean sits up with a small groan and furrows his brow. "What's wrong?" 

"Do you not remember what you said?" Cas growls at him. Dean looks confused for a moment before shaking his head.

"The last thing I remember is Sam leaving the room after you asked to talk to me. The dark part of me kind of...shut the real me down, I guess." he admits softly. Cas can tell by the quirk of his lips that he's lying, but somehow he manages not to call him out on it. 

"Yeah." he finally says. Dean can tell he doesn't believe him. He wouldn't believe himself either at this point, he'd betrayed Castiel so many times he'd lost count.

"Cas, I'm sorry. For everything, I mean. And I- I want you to know I lo- love you. A lot, like probably more than I let on." Dean finally breaks the silence with his confession. 

"I know, Dean. I love you too. I have to go back...soon." he says as he stands and turns toward the door. 

"Cas, wait! Stay with me. Please." Dean whispers, swinging his legs onto the floor. Cas turns back to him to find Dean standing right in front of him. 

The hunter pushes him back against the door, pressing his lips firmly against Cas's. His hands travel down and squeeze at Cas's back, his waist, his hips, his ass. Cas groans as Dean grinds his hips up, the fabric of his slacks rubbing against his hardening cock. 

A knock at the door startles both of them, but Dean doesn't answer. He kisses Cas again and then the knock sounds again, followed by Sam calling his name.

"We're a little busy right now, Sam." he growls out. Cas can't hold back his moan as Dean runs his fingers through his stressed and sore wings. The footsteps that retreat are brisk. 

"Dean, that feels great." Cas says as Dean massages the tendons and muscles in his wings. Dean pulls him back onto the bed, nearly landing on top of him in his rush. Cas gasps softly as Dean bites as his neck, kissing and leaving small bruises.

He pulls away long enough to slip Cas's trench coat and overcoat off and nearly rip open his shirt before continuing the kisses down his body. He trails sloppy kisses down to his stomach and then works his belt buckle off. 

Before he can protest, Cas flies away to the other side of the room. "No, Dean. I can't. Not after what you said to me, and don't pretend you don't remember." he says as Dean sits back on his knees to look at him. Cas fumbles to fix his belt and straighten his messy hair. 

"Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it, I swear. I can't lose you, Cas, please... I'm so sorry." Dean tells him softly, his voice faltering and breaking. 

"You may not have meant those words, but they still hurt me." Cas answers sternly as Dean stands and makes his way over to his angel. 

"I know. And I know that right now there's nothing I can do to make you forgive me, you might never forgive me. And I deserve it. It's my fault all this shit is happening." Dean says as he looks at the floor, standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. 

"You misunderstand. I've already forgiven you, but I can't forget what you said." Cas reiterates quickly causing Dean to glance up at him and give him a bewildered look. 

"If you've forgiven me than why do I still feel guilty?" he asks. Cas tilts his head slightly and furrows his brow. 

"As always, Dean, you believe everything is your fault. And, as always, none of it is your fault. It's the mark's fault that you turned into a demon and said all of those awful things." Cas assures him gently. Dean snorts in derision and shakes his head.

"And who's fault was it that I chose to get the mark? Oh yeah, that's right, it was mine. So I guess that means that it kinda is completely my fault that I turned into a demon and said all that shit to you and Sammy." Dean growls out, crossing his arms. 

"Actually, it was Crowley's fault for not telling you the entire truth." Cas shoots back, earning him another snort from Dean. 

"It was still my choice to trust him, and I fell for it." Dean retorts with a sigh. Castiel walks over to give Dean a hug. Dean wraps his arms around the angel's neck, burying his face in the sweep where his shoulder met his neck. 

"Stay and rest. I have to go, but I'll be back to visit you tonight." Cas tells him as he pulls away and kisses Dean softly at the corner of his mouth. 

Dean doesn't protest as Cas slips on his clothes and then flies off. Sam looks up at him and then smiles meekly. "So?" he asks softly.

"Nothing happened, if that's what you are wondering. I told Dean I needed to return to my search soon, which is only partly true. You should go talk to him, sort some things out, right? Isn't that you two usually do after difficult situations like these?" Cas tells him, making Sam laugh.

"Uh, yeah, no, you're right. I'll go talk to him." he agrees as he stands and walks off to Dean's room. It takes Cas a few seconds to sit down and regain his bearings. After all this time, Dean still wasn't better. The mark of Cain was still there on his arm, but at least he wasn't a demon anymore.

Cas grabs a book called Demonic Possession. He flips through a few pages, not exactly reading before remembering Hannah is in still waiting in the car. He sighs softly and sets the book down, picking up another. 

A few minutes later Sam walks back into the room and Cas shuts the book. "How's he doing?" he wonders. 

"He's, uh... he's still a little out of it, but better, I think. I mean, I think this whole thing- the blood cure, and the... all of it- really wrecked him, you know?" Sam answers. Cas nods slightly before replying.

"Yeah." he finally says simply. 

"On the plus side, he's hungry again, so I'm just gonna go pick him up a big ol' bag of crap food and stuff it in his face myself. You mind keeping an eye?" he asks.

"Yeah." he says happily. "Sam?" he asks before the hunter can walk off.

"Yeah?" he asks, prompting Cas with a look. 

"You realize one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true. But the mark of Cain...that, he still has. And sooner or later, that's going to be an issue." he tells him, glancing away from Sam's stare to glare at the wall.

"You know what, Cas? I'm beat, man. One battle at a time, you know? So I'm just gonna go grab my brother some cholesterol. And then, I'm gonna get drunk." Sam tells him as he walks up the bunker steps and then opens the door. 

The metal slams shut behind him and Cas silently wonders if Sam has seen Gabriel since all of this happened. Perhaps he'd be a bit less moody if he had.

Cas stands up and heads to Dean's room again. He knocks at the door and waits for a reply. "Yeah." Dean's voice calls and Cas opens the door without a word. 

"You look terrible." he comments. Dean laughs and then shakes his head slightly.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to lie every now and again." Dean tells him. Cas shoots him a confused look.

"No, it wouldn't kill me. I just... You..." he trails off and blinks, gazing at Dean with reverence. 

"Forget it. Well, you, on the other hand, you... Looking good." he smirks and Cas rolls his eyes. "So...are you back?" he asks and Cas knows immediately what he's referring to.

"At least temporarily. It's a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. There's a female outside in the car." Castiel says, shrugging. Dean just stares at him, wordlessly. Cas shakes his head and smiles slightly. "Another time." 

"Well, thank you for, uhm...steppin' in when you did." Dean tells him. Cas nods as a welcome. "What did Sam say? Does he want a divorce?" he asks.

"I'm sure he knows that whatever you said or what you did, it wasn't really you. It certainly wasn't all you. I know that." Cas reassures him gently. 

"I tried to kill him, Cas." Dean lets out a heavy and weary sigh. 

"Dean. You two have been through so much. Look, you're brothers. It'd take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away." he answers. 

"You know how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?" he questions, causing Cas to laugh. "I'm glad you're here, man." he adds softly. 

Cas starts to walk off, but thinks better of it and turns back to Dean. "Hey, maybe you should, uhm...take some time before you get back to work. Allow yourself to heal. It's, uh... I don't know. The timing might be right. Heaven and Hell- they seem reasonably back in order. It's quiet out there." Cas tells him gently. 

Dean chuckles slightly and meets Cas's gaze with a warm look. "The only healing I need is with you." he says softly. Castiel blushes slightly and blinks, tilting his head. 

"I don't understand what you mean." Cas manages to stay as Dean walks closer and kisses at his neck. Cas groans quietly as Dean runs his hands through his feathers, fixing the mismatched ones. Dean kisses up to Cas's jaw, the corner of his mouth and finally his lips, biting softly at the bottom one. 

Castiel manages to push Dean away long enough to take off his trench coat. "Hey, Cas?" Dean asks between kisses. 

"Hm?" Cas prompts him, carding his hands through the hunter's hair. He pulls a small groan from Dean that makes him feel accomplished.

"Would you...be open to trying something?" Dean wonders quietly, and Cas finds himself stuttering to a halt as he eyes Dean with suspicion. 

"Open to trying what?" Cas question as he keeps Dean at bay. The hunter actually blushes a bright, cherry red, showing off each and every freckle painted on his skin. "Dean?" Cas tilts his head slightly, wondering why he was showing such open embarrassment. 

"Nothing. Never mind." he finally answers. Cas doesn't accept that as an answer. 

"Dean, just tell me." he says gently, but Dean just shakes his head. Castiel rolls his eyes and stares at the hunter for a while, neither of them saying a word. 

Dean finally drops his gaze to the floor, sighing heavily. "I was just thinking.... I mean, if you're up for it..." he trails off and closes his eyes. 

"Just show me then, in your mind. Just think about what you're wanting to say and I'll hear it." Cas tells him in a soothing voice. Suddenly, Dean's not the only one blushing like a fire truck. 

'You want to what?' he thinks and Dean chuckles. 

'If you want to, I mean. You don't have to, and I know it's a lot to ask.' he says quickly. Cas thinks for a moment, pondering the situation before agreeing. 

"Yeah." he says out loud, making Dean look up at him with a mischievous smile. 

"Stay here. I'll be back." he exclaims quickly as he hears the metal door open and Sam's voice. Cas nods once and then sits down on the bed.

Dean heads to the main floor, grabbing the bag of food from Sam and smiling. "Thanks. Hey, do you mind going to check on Kevin and Charlie! Well, mostly to check on Nathaniel, but you know." he wonders and Sam gives him a slightly confused look. 

"Yeah, sure. I mean, no problem." he agrees. 

"Not to mention your boyfriend will be there." Dean tells him with a wiggle of his eyebrows. "Just don't have sex." he adds in a warning tone. 

"Ok, but Dean, is it really a good idea to leave you here alone?" Sam asks with concern in his voice. Dean chuckles and claps him on the shoulder.

"Trust me, I'm not alone." he whispers and Sam shakes his head, rolling his eyes before walking back up the stairs. 

"Might want to take a 30 minute break after you eat so you don't cramp up." Sam says sassily as he opens the door. Dean's smile falls and he glares at his brother, crossing his arms. "Just saying. I mean, you're not as fit as you once were, man, you know?" he holds his hands up in surrender and Dean purses his lips and sets his jaw.

"You're....not as fit. Just go." he growls back as he turns back toward his room. 

"Don't hurt Cas. We still need him, you know." Sam yells before shutting the door behind him. Dean rolls his eyes and then walks off.  
\----  
Cas could hear the brothers arguing and smiles slightly. It was nice that they were already back to normal, despite the fact that Cas could feel the weight of everything dragging him down. Dean opens the door and sets the food down on the table. 

"Are you hungry?" Cas asks him as the hunter walks straight past the bag. 

"Starving, but it can wait." he answers as he places his hands on either side of Cas. The angel smiles and kisses him sweetly, running his hands along Dean's arm. He pulls away and takes Cas's trench coat off, tossing it somewhere out of sight. 

Castiel works to unbutton Dean's shirt, almost tearing the flannel off in the process. Dean kisses at Cas's neck as he helps the angel slip off his black overcoat. He pushes him down gently onto the bed until he's on his back, and then unbuttons his dress shirt.

He leaves his tie loose as he nips at his collarbones. Cas gasps softly as Dean runs his hand over the growing bulge in his pants. The hunter's hands nimbly work off his belt and then Cas's, kicking off his shoes too. He slips off his own pants and then his boxers before continuing.

He takes Cas's shoes off, followed by his socks and finally starts to slip Castiel's slacks and boxers off. Cas whimpers slightly as Dean kisses his stomach and trails down, bypassing his dick to nip at his inner thigh. 

"Do you trust me, Castiel?" Dean asks him as he moves back up and pulls Cas's tie off. The angel gulps softly and nods. 

"Of course, Dean. I've always trusted you." he tells him. Dean smiles and then grabs Cas's hands by the wrists, restraining them above his head. He wraps Cas's tie around them and then ties it around the headboard, being careful not to wrap it too tight around his wrists. Dean kisses him again before moving back down to lick up the length of his shaft. 

He wraps his hand around Cas's dick, nipping gently at the tip before swallowing it whole. Cas whines as Dean's tongue swirls around, making him buck his hips. 

Dean pulls away to grab the bottle of lube in his nightstand. He puts some on his fingers before working one into Cas's hole, moving slow so as not to hurt him. He fits another finger in, then a third, and curls them up to hit the angel's prostate. Cas moans and tries to fuck himself down on Dean's fingers, but the tie around his wrist keep him in place. 

Before he can protest Dean is standing up and hurrying to the closet, searching for something. "Dean?" he asks softly but the hunter doesn't answer. He grabs a box and pulls it down, yanking out another tie. He probably wore it when he acted like FBI. He walks back over and then glances at Cas's face. 

"Do you mind?" he asks softly, and Cas shakes his head nervously. Dean sits on the edge of the bed, grabs Cas's foot and ties a section of the tie around it. Cas watches with an apprehensive gaze, wondering if this was such a good idea. 

Dean finishes and then ties the rest of it around the bedpost tightly. When he stands again Cas wiggles his foot, but no give is in the tie so he's basically stuck in this position. The hunter kisses him again, positioning his legs between Cas's as he trails wet kisses down the angel's body.

He works his finger in again, making Cas squeeze his eyes shut and struggle at his bindings. When Dean pulls out, he grabs the lube again and spreads some over his erect cock, then gently thrusts himself into Castiel. 

Cas grits his teeth and moans softly as Dean ruffles his feathers. Waves of pleasure course through him as he opens his mouth to speak. "Dean, please, just move already." he begs breathlessly as Dean continues rubbing his wings. 

The bed squeaks quietly as Dean finally pulls out and then thrusts back into Cas forcefully. The angel let out a low moan, arching his back slightly to get the hunter to hit his sweet spot. Dean uses one hand to rub and massage Cas's wing, and the other to grab Cas's loose leg for support. A small clatter startles both of them, but neither seem to care enough to stop and check what it was.

The feathers Dean touched glow slightly, causing Cas to moan and buck his hips with pleasure. Dean moves his hand to grip Cas's cock, moving up and down much slower than he was pounding into him. Moans escape both of their lips as pleasure starts to take over. 

Cas raises his hips as best he can and yells out as Dean hits his prostate, making his legs shake. Dean groans as Cas clenches around him before cumming over Dean's hand and both of their chests. 

Dean pulls out of him and then licks at Cas's dick, cleaning the cum off silently. Cas closes his eyes, panting softly. Once Dean finishes he grabs his shirt and wipes at Cas's chest and then cleans his. He throws the shirt on the floor before moving up to kiss Cas, laying down on top of him gently. Dean ruts his hips against Cas's, feeling the long, slow drag of their cocks rubbing together. 

Cas moans into his mouth and bites at his lips as he meets Dean's thrusts with his own. Dean became more erratic, breath hot on Cas's neck. "Fucking....shit." he growls, bracing himself on his forearms beside Cas's head. 

A long, wild groan leaves Dean's mouth as his hips still. He cums a few seconds later, biting his lip as Cas follows again with a equally lusty moan of ecstasy. They pant together, their heartbeats synching up as Dean kisses the angel. He explores his mouth with his tongue, meeting Cas's as their mouths fit together perfectly. 

Castiel struggles at his restraints, pulling away to tell Dean. "Yeah, I got them." he mumbles feverishly. His legs wobble slightly as he moves to untie Cas's leg and then reaches up to unwind the tie from around his wrists. 

He grabs Cas's hands and gently inspects the red marks left on his wrists. "I tied them too tight. Damn, I'm sorry, Cas." he says softly. Much to his surprise Cas smiles and props himself up on his elbow. 

"It didn't hurt, Dean." he replies quietly, kissing and biting softly at Dean's neck. Dean raises his hand to his mouth, kissing the reddening mark, and doing the same to the other. Cas never Dean could be so tender, it was a side he didn't show often. 

Dean lays down and curls around Cas, pulling him to his chest with a content sigh. Cas snuggles closer before finally remembering Hannah. He'd left her in the car nearly all day. "I'll be right back." he says quickly as he flies off. 

Dean sits up and glances around the room. Cas hadn't taken any of his clothes with him.

 

Cas appears by the car and knocks on the window, startling Hannah. She rolls down the window and looks him up and down. "If I may ask, where are your clothes, Castiel?" she wonders. 

Cas glances down and snaps, his boxers appearing in his hands. He slips them on in a rush, blushing madly. "My apologies, Hannah." he tells her sheepishly. "I came to tell you we'll be staying here tonight. So if you'd like to come in, the door's open." he adds. 

"Thank you, Castiel. I believe, however, I will stay out here tonight." she answers as she looks past him to see Sam pulling up in the Impala. 

Cas nods before disappearing back inside. He looks at Dean with a happy smile before slipping his boxers off again and crawling into the bed with him. Dean wraps his arms around Cas's waist, dragging him until his flush against him. 

He pulls the blankets over them and closes his eyes, already snoring. Cas closes his eyes and let's sleep drag his vessel down into the realm of dreams.  
\----  
Sam opens the bunker door after trying to convince Hannah to come in. She refused. He walks past Dean's room, but then stops when he sees the sleeve of Cas's trench coat peeking out under the crack at the bottom. 

He slowly opens the door, taking in everything. Cas's trench coat laying on the floor made it hard to open the door. Dean's shoes flung across the room, one by the closet, one by the dresser. Cas's were in a neat pile at the foot of the bed. Both of their socks were strewn carelessly, one hanging from the lamp. Their shirts were curled in a pile by the nightstand and their pant's legs were tangled together. Not to mention the two ties, one at the bed post, another dangling and swaying on the headboard, still tied around it. 

The room was a mess, one of the knives on Dean's wall was swinging by the handle, barely clinging to the nail holding it up. The bed was shifted slightly, a little crooked. The closet door was wide open, and the box containing Dean's ties was thrown on the floor carelessly, some of them escaping to drape onto the floor. 

Sam shakes his head and closes the door again. Gabriel hadn't been at the motel. Kevin had disappeared one night, and Charlie never once talked to Sam because she was too busy researching. Nathaniel had answered all of his questions simply. 

'Gabriel, if you're listening... I mean, if you have time to come see me.' he thinks. A curse word rings out down the hall, followed by a loud bang. Sam races down the hallway to his room to see Gabriel standing there, a box of files scattered on the floor. 

"Sorry, I kind of misjudged where I was supposed to land. I heard your voice and just got super excited." he says, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Sam sighs and starts to bend over to pick them up. Gabriel snaps and they are gone. 

"How've you been Gabriel?" Sam asks him as he notices them appear neatly on the shelf he kept them on. 

"Better now that I'm with you, Sasquatch." he answers with a grin. Sam rolls his eyes but can't help the smile spreading onto his lips. Gabriel motions for Sam to sit next to him on the bed and Sam follows. 

Gabriel hugs him tightly, and Sam wraps one arm around Gabriel's shoulders. The archangel tilts his head up to look into Sam's eyes. 

Sam leans down and kisses him gently, surprising them both. Gabriel wraps one arm around Sam's neck, drawing him back down for more as the hunter pulls away. Sam grips his arms, pulling him closer. 

When Gabriel finally breaks the kiss, they are both breathless and panting slightly. Gabriel slides his hands up Sam's chest and presses forward, kissing him again. Sam lays them back on the bed, the archangel resting on top of him. 

Suddenly the door opens and Sam shoves Gabriel off, sitting up in surprise. Gabriel sits on the floor in a heap as he looks up at Sam in shock. "No sex." Dean says, tightening his grip on the door frame. Sam decides not to comment on the fact that Dean hides himself behind the door, meaning he's probably still naked. 

"We're not having sex. We're both still fucking clothed, Dean. I mean, come on! I wouldn't have sex while you were here anyway." Sam growls as he helps Gabriel stand, shooting him an apologetic smile. 

"Then I'm never leaving this bunker." Dean tells him before closing the door and retreating back to his room. 

"Sorry, Gabriel. Did I hurt you?" Sam asks him gently, inspecting him. Gabriel cracks a smile and then smirks.

"Nothing hurts me. Except maybe a little something I like to call Sasquatch-" Sam cuts him off by clapping his hand over the archangel's mouth. 

"Don't continue that sentence." he says quickly. Gabriel wiggles his eyebrows and grabs Sam's wrist, forcing his hand down easily. Sam grimaces slightly and Gabriel quickly lets go of his hand before laying down in the bed next to him. 

Sam smiles and tugs him closer, setting his chin on the archangel's head. Gabriel buries his head in Sam's chest, closing his eyes. Sam sits up suddenly, startling Gabriel. The hunter pulls off his jacket and flannel shirt before laying back down. He kicks off his shoes and then closes his eyes. 

It only takes a few minutes before Sam's breathing grows shallow to indicate he's asleep. Gabriel casts his eyes down to the foot of the bed, fear growing in his chest as tiredness seeps into his bones.  
\----  
"Little brother, you've joined me again!" Lucifer exclaims, making Gabriel quake in his shoes. 

"What do you want, Lucifer?" he asks, surprisingly calm despite his obvious terror.

"Gabriel. Why can't I just see you? Please, step into the light and let it wash over you." Lucifer answers. Gabriel doesn't step forward. 

"Why am I here again? Why do you keep appearing to me?" he asks hurriedly. A cackle sets the hairs on his neck on edge. 

"I'm a part of you, Gabriel. I know only as much as you do. That being said, have you visited heaven lately? Guess who's back up top?" Lucifer tells him. Gabriel sets his jaw and glances around.

"You'll never get out of that cage, Lucifer. You'll be trapped there for eternity, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Just tell me why I'm here." Gabriel growls. Lucifer chuckles and a flap echoes through the seemingly empty expanse. 

And then, there he is. Lucifer with his dark, blood colored wings appears before him with an innocent smile. "Gabriel, it's sad really, isn't it? How apart we've grown? We were such great friends in heaven and now you betray me by acting as if you don't remember it at all." Lucifer sneers angrily. 

"What we shared in heaven was gone the moment you betrayed our father. If you hadn't been such a child about the humans, he wouldn't have cast you out. Instead you decided it was a great idea to throw a fit and cry about it. Well, guess what? It's too late to complain now." Gabriel shoots back, crossing his arms. 

"You hated the humans too! How can you say such things when you yourself left heaven to escape our father's reign. You're just as much at fault as I am, you know. I mean, it's not everyday an archangel of all us finds his soul mate. Especially not a Winchester of all people." Lucifer replies with malice in his voice. "It'd be a shame if something happened to your precious little Sammy." he adds in a mocking tone.

"Of you touch a single strand of hair on his head, I will personally come to hell and destroy you where you stand." Gabriel snarls threateningly. 

"I didn't say I would do anything, brother." Lucifer smirks with a gleeful laugh. 

They stare each other down for a while, neither moving an inch. "Don't keep him too close, Gabriel. Not unless you want him to die." Lucifer finally breaks the silence. Gabriel lunges forward with a deafening scream, wings billowing out behind him. 

Lucifer blocks his fist with his own before grabbing his neck and lifting him up easily. "I've killed you once, I can do it again. It would be so easy, you're no match for me." he taunts with a cruel smile. 

Gabriel chokes, kicking his legs out to try and gain purchase. His wings flail uselessly behind him, in Lucifer's grasp they were no help. He claws at his older brother's arm, trying to get him to release his grip. 

His eyes start to close before Lucifer finally drops him. Gabriel lands with an echoing thud and coughs violently, curling his wings closer to his body. Lucifer walks around him silently and smirks. 

"Oopsie. Sorry, little brother. Did I hurt you?" he asks, imitating Sam's voice after he'd shoved the archangel off of him. Gabriel clutches at the collar of his shirt, breathing air frantically back into his lungs. 

A hand on his wings surprises him, but before he can react a wave of pain runs through him so fast, sudden, and extreme he can barely scream. It was unreal, he suddenly felt too light. He tries to stand, but the agony brings him back to his knees. 

He turns his head to see Lucifer flying off, four golden drops of light in his hand. Gabriel felt tears running quickly down his face as realization hit him. Anguish courses through him again as he reaches his hand back to touch where his wings used to be.  
\----  
Gabriel bolts to his feet, yelling and crying hysterically as the throbbing and stinging grew. Sam darts up, looking over at the archangel with shock. 

His eyes widen but before he can say anything Castiel and Dean burst into the room. Cas's hand flies to his mouth, his eyes stretching open with horror. "Gabriel...." he trails off and watches as Gabriel collapses to his knees in the middle of the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

"What the hell's happening?" Dean questions softly, looking to Cas for an answer. Sam crawls over, grabbing Gabriel's arms and pulling him into an awkward but comforting hug. 

Cas grabs Dean's hand and closes his eyes, letting Dean see through his eyes. Dean yanks his hand out of Cas's and turns away from the archangel, the sight too much for him. Sam was crying now too, and Castiel could feel the sorrow pouring off of his brother. 

Gabriel was no longer crying anymore, just bellowing and wailing with grief. Sam couldn't look at the bloody things left of Gabriel's wings and Cas couldn't look away. His heart went out to his brother, but there was nothing he could do. 

"Dean, we gotta.... I need to help. Bring me something.... to- to stop the bleeding. We need to.... to help." Sam says in disbelief. Stabs of distress flash through Gabriel's mind, but Sam can't make out any actual words. 

Dean races out of the room to grab anything he could find to staunch the bleeding. They could worry about stitching them up later. Gabriel seems to calm down for a second, but Sam catches a twinge of mortification in his mind before he starts shouting again, fresh tears wetting Sam's chest. 

"Gabriel, it's ok. I'm here, it'll be ok. I'm with you, I've got you." Sam reassures him gently, trying to calm the archangel down. The house starts shaking as Gabriel's cries grow louder. 

"I'm here, Gabriel. I'm right here for you. You're safe." Sam whispers again. The shaking disappears and Gabriel now only sobs into Sam's chest. 

Castiel shifts his gaze to floor as Dean returns and hands Sam the gauze he'd gotten. Sam makes Gabriel lay down across his lap before tending to the bleeding, barely there wings as tenderly as he possibly could. 

Gabriel rests his head on his arms, sniffling and whimpering quietly as he squeezes his eyes shut. Dean grabs Cas's arms and pulls him away. "Let Sammy help him. We should...go. There's nothing we can do." he tells him and Cas agrees with a nod. 

Sam finishes, but makes Gabriel stay still. He rubs his lower back gently, eyes turning down at the corner. "Gabriel, who did this to you?" he asks in confusion. 

Gabriel doesn't answer. He can't. Sam wouldn't understand that it had happened in a dream, not in real life. Sam doesn't prompt him to answer, fearing the archangel may lash out at him. 

Gabriel doesn't protest when Sam removes his legs from under him and lays down beside him. The archangel looks away from him, inconsolably grief clouding his thoughts. 

Sam doesn't try to make him speak, he just stays laying beside him and silent. He falls asleep next to his archangel, holding his hand between them. Gabriel doesn't sleep, but he enjoys the sound of Sam's breathing as he dreams peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the feels, but yeah. God, it was so hard for me to write poor Gabriel's pain out.


	3. A Bit of Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Sabriel

"Ok, so we gotta figure out where Kevin went." Dean says the next day when he wakes up and makes his way to the kitchen. Sam was sitting at the table with his usual cup of coffee and an old newspaper. 

Neither of them mentioned that Cas had disappeared sometime in the middle of the night. Even though it cut deep into Dean's pride and heart, he didn't want to bring it up. 

"I know. Nathaniel called yesterday while I was out. He told me Kevin headed out toward Minnesota." Sam tells him, taking a long drink from his coffee. 

"How's Gabriel?" Dean asks him softly, shifting his eyes to the ground. Sam coughs and the newspaper rustles as he sets it down and runs a shaking hand through his hair. 

"He's.... I mean, how well can he be, Dean, you know? He just lost his wings, and right now he's inconsolable. He won't even let me touch him. I don't know how we're gonna stitch them or even help him. He's- he's grieving." Sam tells him quietly, voice filled with obvious worry.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm sure this is hard for you." Dean says softly as he sits down across from him. Sam scoffs softly and takes another sip of his coffee. 

"There's some more in the coffee maker." he mentions and Dean nodded as he stands again to make himself a cup. He didn't understand how Sam drank his coffee black. He couldn't stand the taste of there wasn't sugar and creamer in it. 

"Hey, Sam?" a timid voice makes them both turn to the entrance. Gabriel stands there, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a tired look on his face. 

"Yeah, Gabriel? What's up?" Sam asks, setting his coffee down and walking over to him. He places his hands on his arms and makes him meet his gaze. 

"Nothing. Never mind." Gabriel says as he shrugs Sam's hands off. Dean watches them, eyes sad when Gabriel walks away. Sam's hands hang limp by his side and his shoulders drooped. He looked tiny despite his size. 

"Sam..." Dean trails off when Sam comes over, grabs his coffee and leaves the room without another word. 'Cas, I need you.' 

The flutter of wings never came, not for hours. Not while Sam was stitching up Gabriel's wings, not while Dean went to get food, not while the day grew darker and darker. 

"Sammy?" Dean calls as he walks down the stairs. He sets the food on the table as Sam comes around the corner, Gabriel following him. The blanket was gone, and he looked a little more enthusiastic. 

"Thanks, Dean." Sam says as he sits down and grabs his food. A salad, like usual. Dean nods and holds up a chocolate candy bar for Gabriel. 

"Here. I got you this, mostly because it was free." Dean tells him as he tosses it to him. Gabriel opens the wrapper and sits down by Sam, eyes staring at the ground. "Ok, Sam. What'd you find out about Kevin?" 

"Right. I was looking at the cameras around the Minnesota border. I didn't see him, but there was something that caught my eye." Sam informs him as he grabs his computer and opens it. He stuffs a bite of salad into his mouth as he types something in. 

Dean walks over and leans over Sam's shoulder to watch. "I mean, it's not much, but we've gone on less, you know?" he tells him as he lets him watch. 

A flash of something quickly races across the scene, making Dean narrow his eyes. "Do it again, and slow it down." Sam nods and replays it, pausing it as the thing moves across the screen. 

"Looks like a Wendigo. They usually aren't that close to people though, why the hell is this one?" Dean asks. 

"Well, apparently that wasn't the only creature to cross here. Later on there's a shapeshifter, a werewolf, a few vampires. I mean it's like fucking monster central up there. And they keep coming. The most recent one was at 7 this afternoon." Sam says, turning in his chair to look at Dean.

Dean glances at the clock. It was only just now 7:30. "How early did they start?" he questions as he turns back to Sam.

"Uh...the first one was at 3:56 this morning." he answers as he goes back through the recordings. "That was the Wendigo." he adds. Dean runs a hand down his face before going back to finish his food. 

"So we're going to Minnesota?" he asks. Gabriel looks between them, still nibbling at his candy bar. Sam shrugs as an answer and glances at Gabriel with a smile. 

"We could, but it's.... I mean what are we gone do, storm in and kill off everything that even remotely looks like something from the cameras? We can't just go on a killing spree, they could be anywhere by now, you know?" Sam finally speaks up. 

"Do you even have the resources to kill all that stuff?" Gabriel asks them.

"Silver bullets for the werewolf, machetes for the vampires. Silver knife for that shapeshifter." Dean answers as he nods. 

"That's not the point, Dean. We can't just go kill everything, did you not hear me?" Sam wonders, shaking his head. 

"Sam, this is a monster problem. Last time I checked, we hunt monsters. So we'll hunt them down and gank 'em." Dean shoots back. 

"Do you hear yourself? You're not even thinking about this logically, it's all about the killing. Dean, we can't just run in half cocked and start killing things. People will know, it's too obvious." Sam tells him, trying to rationalize the situation. 

"You're the one thinking way too hard about this, Sam! Why is it so hard to believe that we could actually do this?" Dean asks, his voice rising. Sam stands up and leaves the room. "Running away, like you do from everything else. Real mature, Sammy." 

"You're always harping on me about being rational. This just proves the mark of Cain is in control, not you. And I'm not going." Sam retorts as he turns back around and glares at him. 

Dean crosses his arms, scoffing. "Not going? Fine, I'll go by myself. If you're gonna be a puss about it, I don't need you anyway." 

"Stop fighting. You're both driving me nuts. I'll go to Minnesota, all right! I'll find Kevin and I'll kill all those fucking monsters, just shut the hell up!" Gabriel yells as he stands up and stomps toward the door. 

"Woah, woah! No, Gabriel, you can't go alone! How're you even going to find Kevin?" Sam asks.

"He's a prophet, so if he's in danger I'll be able to feel it. And yes, I'm going alone. So suck it up...and stop fighting." Gabriel tells them as he opens the door and leaves. Sam exchanges a glance with Dean before running up the stairs to catch him. 

Dean doesn't catch what Sam tells because he's halfway to the kitchen already. He needed a beer. He grabs one from the fridge and gulps it down in a few swigs. The mark tingles as he drank another one, and then another. He ran his hand over it and sighs softly. 

"Hello, Dean." the gruff voice of Cas reaches his ears and he whirls around. 

"What? Come to explain why the hell you left in the middle of the night, Cas?" Dean questions. He hadn't meant to say that, he hadn't even thought of saying that to Cas until about two seconds before he'd blurted it out. 

"I told you I needed to continue my search, Dean. I'm sorry. Should I have left a note?" Cas asks him, genuine curiosity making its way into his voice. 

"That would've been nice, Cas. Or maybe at least said goodbye to me before you took off. A little 'sorry to fuck and run' would've been ok, too." Dean replies, a sour look on his face. 

"Next time-" 

"Oh, next time?" Dean scoffs as he interrupts him. Castiel looks up at him and narrows his eyes, wings pulled tight against his back. "Whatever, Cas." he shakes his head and turns back to the fridge. 

"Dean, I know this isn't you talking. The mark is changing you." Cas says softly.

"This isn't about the mark, dammit! This is about you leaving after we had sex! Are you gonna make that a habit?" Dean growls out, turning to face him with a frown on his face. 

"Dean, I had already told you before that I had to return to my search soon. I lost time even just staying to talk to you. You have to understand, that right now the most important thing is to find Metatron." Cas answers calmly. 

"So now I'm not important? God, Cas, you're just digging yourself farther and farther into the fucking hole." Dean says in disbelief. Cas furrows his brow and walks closer, looking furious.

"Never for a second believe you are not important to me! That's the only reason I am attempting to locate Metatron- for you. To keep you safe and to be sure that he doesn't harm you again. So do not for a moment accuse me of thinking you are not important to me!" Cas exclaims, his blue eyes bright and narrowing. 

Dean gulps softly and nods in agreement. Cas grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him into a rough, but much needed kiss. "Kevin is missing." Dean finally tells him as he pulls away. Cas looks up at him and sighs.

"I'm aware of the prophet going missing, Dean. He's in Minnesota." he tells Dean. 

"Yeah, we figured that out. Nathaniel let us know where he went. There's been a big monster outbreak there too, they've been flooding in since early this morning." Dean says. Cas shifts his gaze to the ground, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead into Dean's chest. 

Dean gently wraps his arms around the angel's waist and pulls him closer. "Kevin is in danger and Gabriel will not be able to help. Without his wings he won't be able to fly to Kevin's defense. I'll go in his place." Cas says softly as he closes his eyes and relishes in the feeling of having Dean again. 

Not the Dean with the mark of Cain. His Dean. Whole, full, alive, and animated beneath him. Real and palpable and tangible. It was nice and he loved it. 

"What? No, you can't leave me. You can't leave us." Dean shoots back almost instantly. Cas looks up and him and sighs softly. 

"If you wish for Kevin to stay safe, I must leave. We cannot dwell on our personal affairs right now. Kevin must be brought back safely." Cas tells him gently, trying to convince himself as much as Dean. 

"But I've barely seen you lately, Cas. You're always on the search for Metatron and I just need us time." Dean retorts as Cas takes a step back. Dean's expression was hard and cold. 

"I'm aware of the complications, Dean. And I am sorry, believe me. However, this is something I must do." Cas says as he turns to walk away. 

"Fine. Just leave, go off and get yourself killed. Because it worked out so well last time, right?" Dean growls, crossing his arms.

"Of your are referring to Emmanuel, that was not in my control. I don't wish to fight over this, Dean." Castiel tells him softly.

"Don't wish to? Yeah, well, tough luck! I'm fucking sick of you always leaving me when I need you the most! And Sam's no different! At least he has a reason, his boyfriend just got fried. Or do you not remember that!? Are you forgetting that I've still got the mark of Cain!? I could go nuts any second now, but if you're gonna leave I guess that shit doesn't matter!" Dean shouts, his fist slamming down on the counter and rattling the silverware.

"I don't want to do this with you right now, Dean. I have to leave. I'll be back as soon as I'm able to." Cas answers calmly, his voice even and collected. Dean scoffs as Cas turns and walks out of the room. The beat of wings tells him Cas is gone.

Dean shakes his head and storms to his room, kicking a chair across the room. Sam opens the bunker door just as Dean rounds the corner. Gabriel follows him behind silently. 

Dean slams his door shut and leans against it heavily. His mind whirls with thoughts and spirals close to a headache. He grabs the bottle of whiskey from his nightstand and downs the rest of it in a few gulps. He lets out a content sigh before slumping onto the bed, hunching his shoulders as if her were brooding. 

He drops the bottle at his feet and grabs another. The mark on his arm tingles and buzzes as he feels himself tipping closer to the realm of a drunken stupor. He downs that bottle a bit slower, and then drops it at his feet. The clank of the other bottle makes his heart jump. 

His hands shake and the mark seems to make a ringing in his mind grow. He reaches for another bottle, his reflexes slow as the bottle falls and shatters on the ground with a deafening crash. He bends down and starts picking up the pieces. Instead, he ends up cutting himself on a particularly sharp shard, groaning in pain. 

His hand was bleeding freely, dripping droplets onto his freshly clean carpet. The pain was unbearably and as he stands up, his head crashes somewhere between drunk and dizzy. He stumbles and trips over the box of ties he still hadn't put up. 

Dean falls face first onto the carpet, his bleeding hand drowning the floor where he landed. His head swam and he didn't think he could stand. His vision blackens around the edges and he passes out.  
\----  
Sam helps Gabriel down the stairs, hearing Dean's door slam shut. "They must have fought." he said softly.

"Yeah." Gabriel agrees quietly. He sits down at the table and leans forward, clutching at his stomach with a grimace. Sam sits down beside him, glancing over a few times. 

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" Sam asks him gently, reaching out a hand to cup it over Gabriel's own. Gabriel pulls away and stands up, the chair scrapping against the floor with a screech. 

"Sam, you wouldn't understand. Just...leave it alone." he says as he walks away. Sam sighs heavily, dropping his head onto the table. 

A while passes before Sam finally sits up straight. He knew Gabriel needed to talk about this, it was the only way Sam wouldn't feel guilty for letting it happen. 

He hears a clatter from Dean's room. He stands up and heads quickly to his brother's room. 

Opening the door he finds Dean laying on the ground, a pool of blood settling around his hand and stomach. "Dean!" Sam kneels down in a rush to help him. A groan leaves Dean's mouth as Sam helps him stand and sit down on the bed.

"Sammy?" 

"Dude, what the hell? You can't just drink like that anymore, Dean, you know that!" Sam exclaims as he helps Dean wrap his hand. 

"Shut up. Where's Cas?" Dean interjects. Sam looks up at him and sighs as he stands, putting his hands on his hips and rolling his eyes.

"Cas left for Minnesota a half hour ago." Sam tells him, making Dean scoff and shake his head. 

"Of course he did. The son of a bitch can't listen to anything I fucking say." Dean growls out, clutching at his injured hand. Sam manages not to roll his eyes, knowing it would set Dean off even more. They are both quiet for a minute before Sam finally turns to the door and leaves. 

Gabriel was waiting at the door to Sam's room as Sam makes his way over to him. Sam leans down and presses his forehead to Gabriel's, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. "I'm sick of him being so bitter." 

Gabriel looks up at him and reaches up to brush a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "Me too." he agrees softly. Sam chuckles quietly and is about to stand up when Gabriel reaches for him and kisses him deeply. Their tongues intermingle and Gabriel lets out a soft moan as Sam pulls him closer. 

"I'll be right back." Sam finally pulls away and moves down the hall back to Dean's room. He opens the door to look in. Dean was listening to music loud enough for Sam to hear it from outside. 

Gabriel watches as Sam hurries back over, takes his hand, and pulls him into his room. Sam falls onto the bed, pulling Gabriel down with him. Gabriel's breath hitches as Sam's hand works under his shirt, lifting it up as they kiss. It took all of the archangel's control not to snap both of their clothes off. 

Sam gently slips off Gabriel's shirt, careful not to brush the fabric against the stitched wings. Gabriel bites at his lips as Sam wraps his arms around Gabriel to press them tighter together. 

Sam sighs softly as Gabriel slips his plaid over shirt off, and then reaches his hands under the fabric to set his hands against Sam's skin. Gabriel is startled as Sam sits up and slips his shirt off, kissing him once he got it off. Gabriel moans quietly as Sam grabs at his shoulders, pulling him closer. 

Sam runs his hands through Gabriel's hair roughly, almost forcing more contact despite the already close proximity. Finally he pulls away from the archangel to slip off both of their pants, his eyes hungry. 

Gabriel looks up at him and shudders as Sam's hands travel up his body to his head before kissing him roughly. Gabriel can feel the slow drag of the cotton fabric from his boxers pulling against his already throbbing cock, making him groan softly. 

Sam grasps at his arms, forcing them closer than Gabriel thought possible. Finally, finally their boxers are off and Sam is pulling Gabe down on top of him. Gabriel bucks his hips, his and Sam's dicks rubbing together. Jolts of pleasure spike up both of their spines. 

Gabriel moans loudly as Sam ruts his hips again. His eyes flutter shut before suddenly Sam is pulling away to grab at something in his dresser. Gabriel climbs off of him and settles on the bed face down, letting Sam take control. Sam spreads some lube onto his fingers and gently prods at the archangel's entrance. 

One finger fits in, then two, and finally three. Gabriel's toes curls and his back arches as Sam hits his prostate. "Jesus fucking Christ, Sam." he groans in ecstasy as pleasure races up and fogs his brain. Sam spreads his fingers out inside, opening him up. 

"Does that feel good, Gabe?" he asks in a quiet voice. Gabriel moans in response as Sam hits his prostate again. 

Sam finally pulls out and spreads more lube onto his dick. Gabriel spreads his legs a bit as Sam tenderly presses against Gabriel's entrance, careful not to hurt him. He slowly inches into the archangel, noting the way Gabe's back tenses. 

Sam stops as he reaches the hilt and let's Gabe adjust to his length inside him. Gabriel bites his lip and sighs softly. "I'm ready, Samsquatch." he mutters. Sam grips his hips and pulls out before gently pushing back in. 

"You like that, Gabe? You like me inside you, huh?" Sam growls out, gritting his teeth. 

"Fuck, Sam...faster." Gabriel manages to answer quickly, pressing against Sam harder. Sam tightens his grip and quickens his pace, his cock beginning to throb. Gabriel let's out a few short, quick moans as his mind muddles and his sense disappears. 

"Harder, Sam!" he yells as he squeezes his eyes shut. Sam obliges and pants softly as the sound of skin against skin echoes through the room. Gabriel moans and groans with each thrust, throwing his head back and arching his back. 

His arms shake slightly as he feels his orgasm building in his stomach. Sam groans softly, leaning down to rest his head in the crook of Gabriel's neck. "Fucking shit." he breathes out more obscenities. He hears Gabriel exclaim something he can't understand, and realizes he's moaning in Enochian. 

Gabriel feels Sam's hand cup his dick and start pumping in time to his thrusts. His eyes fly open as cum floods over Sam's hand and onto the mattress. Sam follows not far after with a loud moan of pleasure, echoed by Gabriel. 

Sam pulls out and lays down, his head resting on top of him arm. Gabriel whimpers slightly at the loss of pressure between his legs as he crawls over and rests beside Sam. Sam reaches down and wraps an arm around his waist. 

Gabriel sighs happily and closes his eyes, copying Sam's motions as the hunter snuggles closer. He could feel sleep dragging him down, but he wasn't ready to face Lucifer again. Despite that fact, he fell asleep.  
\----  
Gabriel opens his eyes to see Lucifer standing in front of him. "Sorry about the wings, Gabe. But hey, at least you got laid, right?" he says with a wide grin. 

"Shut up. Why are you doing this?" Gabriel growls at him, making Lucifer chuckle. 

"Oh, brother. You'll find out soon enough, believe me." Lucifer answers, crossing his arms over his chest. Gabriel glares at him, rage beginning to take over.

"Stop playing these damn games, Lucifer! Just tell me what you want with me!" Gabriel yells as he takes a step toward his brother. 

"It's about Dean. Well, more like the mark of Cain. But like I said, you'll find out soon enough." Lucifer replies with a wave of his hand. He looks over at Gabriel and smiles as he snaps and Sam appears. 

"What the hell? I was just dreaming about....not this." Sam grunts, glancing at Gabe with a sligh blush on his face. Gabriel looks at Lucifer and frowns.

"Don't touch him, or I will smite you where you stand, Lucifer." Gabriel tells him with a new edge to his voice. His eyes glow brighter and he stands up straighter. 

"Relax. I'm not going to do anything to him." Lucifer tells him before snapping and disappearing. Gabriel felt something worming into his mind. His eyes cloud over, and he hears Lucifer's voice in his mind. "Attack him, Gabriel." 

Gabriel turns to Sam and clenches his fist, charging the hunter. "Gabriel! Woah, it's me, it's Sam!" he calls as he blocks the punch and dodges another. 

"Don't listen to him, that's not Sammy." Lucifer whispers in his mind. Gabriel growls and punches Sam square in the jaw, sending him flying across the empty room. Sam falls onto the floor and groans, spitting out some blood. 

"Gabriel, please! You can fight this!" Sam yells as Gabriel kneels down and throws an uppercut. He raises his fist and slams it into Sam's temple. Sam groans in pain, his mind fuzzy as his head cracks against the ground. 

Gabriel punches him again and again, pummeling his head as Sam desperately tries to get Gabe back. "Gabriel! Please... this isn't you." Sam says softly, his voice rough. 

"This is you, Gabriel." Lucifer speaks up again. Gabriel punches him again, latching onto Sam's shirt collar. Sam whimpers quietly, looking up at Gabriel with a desperate expression. 

"Please, Gabe... I love you. Don't let him take over. I love you." Sam tells him gently, seeing something in Gabriel's face click. Lucifer disappears as Gabriel shakes his head. Suddenly his eyes are flying open and he's sitting up, looking over at Sam's beat up face. 

Sam sat up and few seconds later, clutching at his head like he had a headache. "What the hell!? How the hell did Lucifer do that!?" he exclaims. 

"Lucifer is very powerful. He's not only able to dreamwalk, but he can manipulate and control your dreams to how he wants them." Gabriel answers as he reaches out and quickly heals Sam. "I'm sorry I hurt you." he adds softly. 

"Is he the one that took your wings?" Sam asks him gently. Gabriel nods in response and sighs as he stands up, reaching for his clothes. 

"That's Cas. He's got Kevin." he says as he gets the message from his brother. He sighs softly as he snaps and dresses both him and Sam. 

Sam stands and follows him out to the main room just as Castiel appears, Kevin slung over his shoulder. Dean follows them not far behind. "What the hell'd you do to him!?" he asks harshly.

"He's been badly injured. I need a place to put him so I may heal him." Cas tells him before he can say anything else. Dean nods and motions for them to follow him. 

Sam notices the slight clench of Dean's fists, and the set of his jaw. He knew something was about to happen, and he wasn't sure he wanted to stick around to find out what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter. I've been busy, but I'm pretty proud of this.


	4. Weakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Sub/Bottom Dean in this chapter... Oops

It wasn't until Cas had healed Kevin that Dean finally calmed down enough to form a coherent thought. Kevin had sat up, looking tired and still a bit put out.

Dean takes a deep breath as Kevin looks between them. His eyes were wide, and his forehead shines with sweat. 

"Kevin, you alright? What happened?" Dean asks quickly. Kevin sighs softly and squeezes his eyes shut to gain back his sense of balance and control. 

"There were too many things for me to remember. I don't know what happened." Kevin answers, and Dean returns Kevin's sigh. He runs a hand down his face with a silent annoyance. 

"A werewolf had him." Castiel mumbles softly, and Kevin looks over at him with a slight frown. He was focusing on what Cas had said, trying to remember.

"Yeah, I remember that." Kevin finally says, nodding as he stands and looks over at Sam. The hunter was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

Sam was staring off into space, a vacant expression on his face. His eyes droop slightly as he looks up at Kevin. 

"What did they want?" Gabriel asks and Kevin shrugs with uncertainty. Sam sighs again and starts pacing, running his hands through his hair. 

"So back to square one then." he mutters and then stretches. Gabriel follows him out of the room as he leaves without another word. 

Castiel has his arms crossed, his gaze settling on the perfect plane of Dean's face. His hunter seemed troubled, and he already had an idea that would help him. 

Kevin stands to find Sam and Gabriel, leaving the two alone in Dean's room. Cas immediately moves in, kissing Dean with need. Dean returns it with as much fervor as he can muster, his limbs tired and body feeling broken and heavy. 

Cas slips Dean's shirt off, reaching his hands inside his black undershirt. He needed the skin on skin contact, and Dean did too. The hunter pulls him closer, pressing against him as they kissed. 

Before they could get any farther, Sam is opening the door with a small groan of annoyance. 

"Ever heard of knocking, Sam?" Dean growls as Cas pulls away and stands straighter. His hair was slightly askew where Dean had dragged his fingers through it. 

"Crowley is here. Again." Sam retorts, giving Dean a frown. Dean stands up and goes to the door, hurriedly rushing down the hallway to where Crowley stood.

"Squirrel, always nice to see you." he greets with his signature smirk. Dean rolls his eyes and glares at him. 

"Why the hell are you here?" he asks, causing Crowley to feign hurt at the harsh words. 

"Call it guilt, but I wanted to say that with the mark of Cain I didn't know it would do this." Crowley tells him. Dean scoffs and Cas appears by his side, staring the demon down with malice. 

"I'm not so sure. You seemed awfully happy to get Dean screwed by giving him the mark." Sam mutters as he crosses his arm. Gabriel stands beside him, staring at Crowley with slight trepidation. Crowley chuckles and then turns back to Dean. 

"Whatever, Crowley. Fine, just get the fuck out." Dean says, and Crowley raises his hands in surrender before disappearing. 

"Goddamn." Sam mumbles, shaking his head. Gabriel looks up at him, his eyes sad and full of depression as he sighs. 

"I'm gonna go out." Dean tells them before leaving the room. He opens the door of the bunker and hops into the Impala. The engine roars to life and he takes off down the road. 

Cas stands at the door with a sad smile, sighing heavily. "He's not coming back is he?" Sam asks as he walks up to stand by Castiel. 

"No, I believe not." Cas answers sadly. Sam pats him on the back, his hand lingering a bit to comfort Cas. 

"I should continue my search for Metatron." Castiel says suddenly and then flies off with a rustle of wings. Gabriel runs up, panting softly as if to stop Cas, but he was already gone. 

Sam grabs Gabriel's hand, pulling him closer and into a kiss. "It's ok. It'll be ok." he comforts him, but Gabriel pulls away. Sam looks down at him with worry, his eyes flashing with worry. 

"Cas is gonna get himself killed if he hunts down Metatron! This isn't good, Sam. He's already locked him up in prison, he needs to just let him be!" Gabriel hisses, glaring at Sam. 

"Metatron is gonna help us get the mark off!" Sam finally tells him, fed up with Gabriel's nonsense. Gabriel gaps at him, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. 

"What!? That bag of dicks is gonna help you!? I highly doubt that, Sam! Are you stupid?" Gabriel questions angrily. "Metatron won't help you, not unless you give him his freedom, Sam, you know this!" he continues on. 

"This is the only way, Gabriel! So unless you got a better idea, than just go with it." Sam snaps, making Gabriel shake his head and sigh.

"I won't 'just go with it'. Sorry, Sam, but you're on your own in this." Gabriel tells him sadly, shaking his head. Sam gulps softly as Gabriel heads to the door. 

"Wait, Gabriel! Where are you going?" Sam calls, making Gabriel turn. The door was open now, and Sam could feel the breeze rushing in. 

"I can't stay here while you're on about Metatron helping you, Sam. It's just not in my power to help you do this, I'm sorry." Gabriel says sadly, just before he disappears. 

"Gabriel!" Sam exclaims, rushing up to where he'd walked out. When he rounds the corner, though, Gabriel is nowhere to be seen. "Gabe!" he yells, causing his voice to echo through the field. 

Sam sighs, heading back in and slamming the metal door shut. "Dammit, Dean!" 

He was alone in the bunker now, and that didn't sit right with him. He starts pacing, running his hands through his hair as he thought. With a sigh he heads back outside, climbs into the other car and drives off. 

His phone rings and he answers it quickly. "Sammy! Meet Cas and I. I'll text you the address. Cain is gonna be there, Sam. I can finally kill him." Dean tells him. 

"Yeah, Dean. Ok, I'll- yeah, I'll meet you." Sam agrees. They hang up, and then Sam sighs. The text comes in, and he heads toward the barn.   
\----  
Sam arrives closer to night. After getting the kid out of harms way, Sam and Crowley went in.

They manage to catch Cain in a devil's trap. "Oh, clever. Won't hold me for long, you know." Cain chuckles.

"It won't need to." Sam says back, turning to walk out with Crowley behind him. They pass the door and Cain looks up, seeing Dean standing there as the doors slide to a close. 

Cas walks up to them, rubbing at his head. "Cas, hey you ok?" Sam asks with worry. 

"I'm fine." Cas mumbles. "It worked?" he wonders. Sam nods, a simple, "Yeah," all he answers with. 

"My turn." Dean growls out, his hand tightening into a fist. 

"Dean, look, we want to help." Sam says, looking to Dean with concern. 

"No. No, with you in the ring, it'd just be a liability." Dean retorts almost as soon as Sam gets his sentence out. Sam rolls his eyes and Cas takes this as his opportunity to speak up. 

"Dean?" Cas asks, making Dean shake his head again. 

"I'd be too worried about what he could do to you... Or what I could. Plus, I need you three out here to take out whatever comes out of there. And I'm serious. I mean whatever comes out." Dean says, looking at Cas. 

"Happily." Crowley answers instead, looking bored. Dean holds out his hands, and Crowley lifts the First Blade. "What guarantee do I have that you'll give it back when you're done?" he asks. 

"If I survive and I come outta there and I don't give it back, you'll all have a much bigger problem on your hands." Dean snaps. Crowley hands over the blade, making Dean sigh softly. 

"Dean?" Sam asks with worry, his eyes slightly wide. 

"I'm good." Dean says as he walks up the barns flight of stairs. He closes the door and walks over to Cain, who is still inside the devil's trap. 

"Hello, Dean. At a loss for words, my son? Allow me." Cain pauses to look up at Dean. "This is the part where you tell me it's not too late and I can lay down arms, abandon my mission. 'We don't have to fight'." he chuckles. 

Dean walks up as he talks, rolling his eyes. "I'll spare us the formalities. You're past talking down. Cain, you're fully mental." he says. 

"Oh, I prefer to think I've finally gotten clean." Cain says, walking around the trap to follow Dean's movements. "When I made my bargain with Lucifer, killed Abel, I released a stain upon the earth, a stain deeper and far more lasting than mere precedence." he snaps. 

"Your bloodline's tainted, or so you say." Dean replies, glaring at Cain. 

"So I know." Cain stops in his tracks, staring Dean down. "Not all killers are my descendants, and not all my descendants are killers, but enough are, enough for me to know that extinguishing them is the least I owe this world. Can you honestly tell me that humanity's not better off with fewer Tommy’s and fewer Leon’s... Fewer you's?" he said harshly. 

"And what about the kid?" Dean wonders bitterly. 

"He could go either way. I prefer to be thorough." Cain chuckles softly. Dean moves to stand at the edge of the devil’s trap. "How's it feel, Dean, to be holding the blade again?" Cain asks innocently. 

Dean lifts the First Blade to stare at it. "It feels like a means to an end." he says truthfully. And then Dean steps into the devil's trap. 

"Then do it." Cain challenges, making Dean swing at him. Cain evades each strike, tossing Dean to the ground. Dean stands, swinging at his head. Cain shoves him to the ground again, making Dean growl in frustration. Dean manages to punch Cain as he swings the blade up, but Cain grabs hold of his wrist. They both struggle to control the blade and each other's movements. 

"That seems a bit weaker than I would expect from you with the Blade." Cain growls, looking Dean straight in the eyes. "I think you can do better." he grunts as Dean punches him in the face. "Unless..." he trails off, Dean punching him again. "You're holding back." Dean lunges at him, and Cain grabs both his hands. They stay in that hold, fighting for control. 

"What is it, Dean? Do you think if you hold back just enough, you won't succumb, that you'll leave this fight the same as you entered?!" Cain exclaims, throwing Dean to the floor once more. "Look to my example, boy! There is no resisting the Mark or the Blade. There is only remission and relapse!" Cain yells, anger getting the better of his composure. 

"You told me this day would come. You told me I'd have to kill you." Dean grunts, trying to free his hands. 

"Is that so?" Cain throws his hand out, flinging Dean across the room and flying through a window. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood my intentions here, Dean. When your pet angel found my burial site, I thought about ending him and swatting him like a fly." Dean gets up and walks back towards Cain as he talks. "But then I thought about you. Your biggest weakness, the thing I noticed the moment I met you, your courage, your reckless bravado. I let him go, knowing that he would report back to you, knowing you would bring into battle the one thing that can kill me, the one thing I truly want." 

Cain reaches out his hand, the First Blade flying out of Dean’s own and sliding along the ground, right into the Devil’s Trap. Cain stops its trajectory with his boot and bends to grab it.

"Oh, it's been too long. That old feeling makes me wonder how I ever had the strength to resist." Cain laughs maliciously, grinning at Dean. Dean rushes to attack him. Cain grabs him by the throat, holding him for a moment before throwing him to the ground.  
"This may be hard to believe, in light of what I'm about to do to you, but I care about you, Dean. I truly do. But I know I'm doing you a favor. I'm saving you." 

Dean groaned as he shifted to look up at him. "Saving my from what?" he asks. 

"From your fate. Has it never occurred to you? Have you never mused upon the fact that you're living my life in reverse? My story began when I killed my brother, and that's where your story inevitably will end." Cain seems to lighten at that statement.

"No. Never." Dean growls out. Cain chuckles as he inspects the First Blade.

"It's called the Mark of Cain for a reason! First...first, you'd kill Crowley. There'd be some strange, mixed feelings on that one, but you'd have your reason. You'd get it done, no remorse." he pauses to let it sink in. 

"And then you'd kill your angel, Castiel. Now, that one ... that I suspect would hurt something awful. He is the love of your life after all. And then!" Cain lunges toward Dean, grabbing him by the shoulder. Dean notices a knife tucked into Cain's coat. 

"Then would come the murder you'd never survive, the one that would finally turn you into as much of a savage as it did me." Cain grins evilly. Dean shakes his head quickly.

"No." he pleads softly. 

"Your brother, Sam. The only thing standing between you and that destiny is this blade. You're welcome, my son." Cain raises his hand to stab the First Blade into Dean's head, but Dean grabs the knife from his belt and hurriedly slices Cain’s hand holding the First Blade off. Mahogany blood seeps from his wrist and he falls to his knees, grabbing at the reddening skin. Dean scrambles up and picks up both blades, steadying his legs. "What's the matter?" Cain wonders, still as smug as ever.

"Tell me I don't have to do this. Tell me that you'll stop. Tell me that you can stop!" Dean shouts, his voice breaking with fear.

"I will never stop." Cain spits, frowning as Dean walks behind him. Cain lowers his head, accepting his fate. Dean raises his arm up and shoves the First Blade into the back of Cain's neck, killing him instantly.  
 He walks down the stairs to where Sam, Cas and Crowley are still standing. "Dean?" Sam asks softly. 

"Dean, the blade." Crowley reminds him. Dean looks down at the First Blade, heads toward Crowley and holds it out before finally giving it to Cas. 

"You lied to me." Crowley says, looking hurt. 

"It's not the first time today. Cain's list...you weren't on it." Dean says, collapsing into Cas who holds him up easily. 

"You did it. Dean, you did it." Sam reassures him. Dean turns to hide his face in Cas's shoulder. He didn't want this weight or responsibility anymore, he regretted it so much now.   
\----  
Sam and Dean arrive back in the bunker, Cas able to teleport them back. Dean was cut up, bruised, and bloody, sitting at the table drinking coffee quietly. Sam stays by the coffee maker, pouring himself some of it into a cup.

"Dean, um, you know, what you did back there, it was incredible. You know, if you can do that without losing yourself..." Sam trails off to sit at the table across from his brother. "…that's cause for hope, even without a cure." he finishes.

"Yeah. Maybe." Dean mumbled as Castiel appears in the doorway. "So, where's the blade?" he wonders.

"Somewhere safe." Cas answers simply. 

"Good. Well, if you guys will excuse me, I think I am gonna go sleep for about four days." Dean tells them with a heavy sigh, moving from his seat at the table and heading out of the room. As he passes Castiel he gently squeezes his hand.

"Of course." Sam says.

"How is he?" Cas asks, waiting for his answer. Sam doesn't respond right away. "Sam?" he asks again. 

"Cas..." Sam chokes back a small sob and sniffles. "Dean's in trouble." he finally finishes. Castiel looks at the ground and then leaves the room, wanting to find Dean. 

It didn't take long, because as Cas suspected, Dean was in his room. "Dean?" he asks, knocking softly on the door. Dean opens it, grabbing the front of his white shirt and pulling him roughly inside. 

Dean shoves the trench coat aside, exposing Cas's tanned skin as he rips open the white shirt. Cas gasps as Dean bites and sucks at his neck. "So good, Cas, so good." he mumbles as he grinds down onto Cas's leg. 

Cas could feel himself growing hard, and as Dean drags him into a sloppy kiss, he remembers why he loved Dean before. The drunken haze he seemed to be in wasn't real, he was just high off of the scent of Cas's skin. 

His clumsy fingers fumble at Cas's belt as he tries desperately to get rid of them. Cas gently pushes him away, unhooking the belt and allowing Dean to take over and pull them down. 

Dean slowly drags his hands down Cas's body, sending shivers up the angel's spine as he moaned breathily. Dean moves to his knees, nibbling at the inside of Cas's thighs. Cas whimpers as Dean's hands reach up to pull down his boxers. 

The angel sighs as the cold air hits him, not seeming to care that Dean was still fully dressed. As if reading his thoughts, Dean pulls away to rip his shirt off, then reaches down to unbuckle his belt and free his already throbbing cock. 

Cas's mouth opens in a silent plea as Dean finally licks at the tip, slipping his tongue around the width. Cas grabs Dean's hair for support, his legs already beginning to shake. 

Dean presses against Cas, his mouth stretching to fit every inch of his dick in. His tongue laps at the dripping precum, making Cas involuntarily buck his hips. A sick, wet sound fills the room as Dean deepthroats him. 

Cas moans as Dean pulls away to lick at the base, gently fondling his balls. Dean sucks at the skin there, dragging his tongue up to the tip of his cock. 

"Dean... Dean..." Cas mumbles Dean's name, grabbing at his hair as his legs quake. Dean holds him up with one arm, reaching down with his other to stroke his own dick. He continues sucking at the tip of Cas's, prodding his slit with his tongue and causing pleasure to race through Cas's body as he calls Dean's name. 

Dean pulled away just as Cas felt his climax beginning to rise. Dean stood, dragging Cas to the bed and collapsing with him on top. They kiss passionately, tongues mingling and teeth gently nibbling lips. Dean pulls away to take his jeans and boxers off before pressing Cas against him again. 

He sucks harshly at Cas's neck, causing the angel to groan and close his eyes tightly. When Dean pulls away, a hickey is left in his place. Cas softly grinds his hips down into Dean's, dragging their slick cocks together with a featherlight touch. 

Dean grips Cas's ass, grinding up roughly and making them both moan together. "Take me, Cas. Make me forget about the mark of Cain, make me forget everything except the feeling of you inside me." he begs breathlessly, pulling on Cas to bring him as close as he could. 

Cas nods and then snaps. Dean's hands handcuff to the bed, his legs tied down to the frame. "Anything, Dean." he tells him as he reaches down and gingerly runs his fingers up Dean's cock. 

He manages to pull a groan from the hunter's lips, leaning down to swallow it with a deep kiss. He licked into Dean's mouth, biting at his bottom lip as he pulled away. He moved down to Dean's neck, leaving a hickey just like he did. 

Sliding down a bit lower, he rubs at Dean's nipples. He drags his tongue over one, nipping at the sensitive bud. Dean moves underneath him, unable to do much but arch his back. 

Dean struggles with his bindings, moaning louder as Cas drags his leg against Dean's crotch. Cas finally snaps, releasing Dean's legs as he moves back. Dean spreads his legs willingly, allowing Cas full access. 

Cas moves up to Dean's mouth, making him open it to suck on his cock. Dean had run out of lube, so this would have to do. When Cas thought he had gotten it throughly, he pulls away and positions himself at Dean's entrance. 

Dean groans happily as Cas finally, finally slips inside. Cas grabs onto Dean's hips, thrusting slowly into his hunter. Dean moans at the contact, enjoying the slight burn coupled with the pleasureful drag of Cas inside him. 

"Oh, God... Cas, faster, faster, please!" Dean begs, but Cas doesn't answer them. He wants to move at his own pace, drag Dean's pleasure out for as long as he can. His wings outstretch above him, flapping slightly at the wonderful warmth spreading through him.

Dean gasps as Cas's cold hand reaches down to stroke slowly at his dick as well. His hips buck up, allowing Cas to hit his prostate and making him moan loudly. His pants seem to echo across the the room as Cas quickens his pace, pounding into Dean. 

Cas echoes Dean's moans now, feeling his climax nearing. He quickens his pace again, rubbing at Dean's erect cock, hoping to have them cum at the same time. Dean gasps, his body tensing at the waves of ecstasy racing through him. 

He could feel the end, white hot and heavy. "Cas! Cas... Oh, God, Cas!" Dean chanted, his legs beginning to shake. His hands wanted desperately to be free, to grab at Cas's wings and smooth his finger through them. 

Cas pulls out, before either of them could get off. Dean pants heavily, struggling to get some semblance of friction, anything touching him. Cas's hand moves away from Dean's dick, holding him still. The angel's wings seem to glow as he began to gently suck at Dean's leaking cock. 

When he had gotten it wet enough, he pulls away and then climbs on top of Dean, slipping it inside him. Cas lets out a breathy moan, and Dean starts to buck his hips. Cas brushes his cock with his hand, moaning shakily as he let Dean pound into him as best as he could. 

"Open those eyes, Cas, baby, I wanna see 'em." Dean calls, and Cas follows his orders and meets his gaze. Cas gasps as Dean hits his prostate, his hand stuttering. Dean can feel his climax building again, almost, almost, and then Cas is pulling away again. 

"You goddamn tease!" he exclaims, his chest red and sweating profusely. Cas could feel his own sweat clotting behind his ears as he positions himself at Dean's entrance again. 

He plunges in all the way to the hilt, pulls out and does it again, sending Dean into a moaning mess. Cas pounds into him, laying down and resting his forehead against his hunter's chest as he did. Dean's groans stutter as Cas's wings brush against his dripping cock, making his eyes open wide. 

"Damn, do that again." he pleads, and Cas allows him that. Dean bucks his hips, a short, breathy, lust-filled moan fills the room. Cas flaps his wings, sending a cool puff of air over them both. 

Dean's moans and groans fill Cas's head as his breathing turns erratic. Cas slows his rhythm, his hips fluttering as he feels the cum shoot out into Dean. Cas strokes Dean's cock a few times before he's falling, falling with a yell of Cas's name. 

Dean's restraints came off, and he immediately shoves Cas off of him and curls in on himself. Cas looks shocked by his response. 

"Dean, did I do something wrong? Was that not adequate?" Cas asks in confusion and fear. 

"I can't believe you fucking cuffed me, you dick." Dean growls out, moving away from Cas's touch. "Just go away." he adds. 

"Did you not tell me to take you, Dean? Make you forget the mark?" Cas wonders. His eyes were turned down at the corners, sad and solemn. 

"You took advantage of my weakness, dammit. Just go away. And you did a piss poor job of making me forget the damn mark!" Dean exclaims, sitting up to lash out at him. Cas falls back onto the floor, looking up at Dean with wide eyes. 

He stands up, hurt marring his face as he dresses with a snap. "I'm sorry I was unable to properly satisfy your needs, Dean. And I'm sorry for even coming to find you. Perhaps I should have stayed with Sam in the kitchen." he says sadly. 

"Just get out of my site, and don't let me see you again." Dean snarls, making Cas flinch back at the words. 

The angel didn't reply, he simply flew away. He couldn't help the tingling in his crotch when he thought how vulnerable Dean was like that. Was that what the hunter meant by weakness? 

Had Castiel made him feel too vulnerable and open? Cas didn't want to think about it, so he doesn't. He finds himself in a bar, and he orders a drink. He loses track of how much he drinks, or how fast. 

The last thing he remembers is green eyes and a gentle laugh as he falls into a warm bed.


	5. Unforgivable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's back! She'll destroy us all! The One will kill, and the Righteous Man will suffer at the heart of it all! The Golden will be killed, and the Tainted will suffer at the core, leaving only darkness, destruction, evil! The One will be killed, and the Righteous Man will be to blame.

When Cas finally teleported back to the bunker, Dean had left Sam to solve his own cases. Sam didn't seem to mind, not since Gabriel had made a permanent move into the bunker.

He couldn't bring himself to tell Dean the fact that he'd cheated on him with some slut at a bar. She'd reminded him of Dean, and perhaps that's why he'd done it. Her bright green eyes, symmetrical features, full lips, light brown freckles, and sense of humor and sarcasm. It was all his Dean. 

And Dean was all he had on his mind while he did it. He was ashamed of himself, he couldn't even remember her name. And of course ever since Dean had left, Sam was worried about getting the mark of Cain off of his brother. 

So Charlie sat with them at the table, trying to figure out any kind of spell that could take the mark of Cain off of the hunter. It wasn't much, considering nothing was really known about it. The mark of Cain was pre-biblical, so Cas knew nothing of it either. 

And since Gabriel had left, they were unable to ask him about it. Sam was always tense now that his soul mate was gone, and despite his lack of searching to find him, Castiel could tell he prayed to him every minute of every day. 

Castiel sighs softly as he stands up to pace the room. "You ok over there, Angel?" Charlie asks, and Cas turns back to look between her and Sam. 

"I'm fine. I just do not understand why we must work with Rowena in order to figure out the Book." he answers stubbornly. Yes, he knew Rowena had to cast the spell to free Dean from the mark, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"Cas, look, man. Rowena is the only witch I even remotely trust, which is sayin' something, alright? We have to trust that she's gonna come through and do this for us." Sam speaks up. Cas crosses his arms defiantly.

"She will not come through, Sam. The spell requires absurd ingredients, I'm sure, and what if she does not agree to your new terms? Are we supposed to assume she will still go through with it after all of this?" Cas wonders, making Sam roll his eyes. 

"I know you're worried about Dean, hell, I am too, but this is the only way I can think of. If you got a better plan, then by all means, tell us now. Otherwise, we'll have to go through with this one." Sam snaps. 

Cas glares at the younger hunter, but nods anyway. "Very well. I will take Charlie and the book to Rowena if you will meet us there." he agrees. Sam nods and runs his hands down the denim of his jeans. 

Cas sighs, flying Charlie off to the basement Rowena was in. "Oh, lovely seein' you here again." Rowena greeted, her thick Scottish accent drawling through the room. 

"Charlie has been working to decipher the Book of the Damned. She wishes for your help in figuring out the codex and then beginning the gathering of supplies for the spell." Cas tells her, looking slightly annoyed at the toothy grin she was giving him. 

"And, might I ask, what is my reward for helpin' you in doin' all this extra work?" Rowena questions innocently. 

"Sam will kill Crowley faster." Charlie pipes in, making Rowena's eyes sparkle with mischief. Castiel felt a slight pang of doubt and worry at that. He just wanted to find Dean, why must they go through all these extra things?  
\----  
When Charlie and Rowena broke the cypher, Cas had to call Sam because Charlie had gone missing. Sam had found Dean again, which made Cas breath a mental sigh of relief. But of course, Dean was furious that they'd been going behind his back to figure it out. Mostly because now Charlie was missing and so was Eldon Styne. 

Castiel was forced to stay with Rowena, and he paces beside her, just glaring at the floor. "Tense, are we?" Rowena asks in a teasing tone. 

"Charlie is possibly risking her life on this Book, and you're making jokes? Dean is in danger of the mark of Cain, Sam is in danger just being with him, and you expect me to relax, do you?" Cas shoots back. Rowena chuckles, holding her hands up in surrender. 

"Please, little angel, don't get upset. Weeping angels aren't my strong suit." Rowena joked, laughing to herself. Castiel rolls his eyes at the reference. The only reason he knew it was because of Metatron, the only good thing he did. 

"I will be back soon." Castiel finally speaks again. Rowena gives him a small smile before he spreads his wings and flies off. Gabriel had spoken to him for the first time in days. 

"Castiel." Gabriel greets as he arrives in front of his brother. Cas looks down to find himself trapped in a ring of holy oil. 

"Gabriel, please, don't." he starts as he begins to walk out of it. Gabriel snaps and the fire ignited right before Cas can get out. "Brother, why?" he asks, stopping short and looking up at him.

"Simple, really. I'm not Gabriel. Wrong brother, Castiel. I can't blame you though, I was pretty convincing, if I do say so myself." Gabriel morphs into Lucifer, making Castiel's eyes widen. 

"Impossible. You're trapped in the cage." Castiel snaps, glaring at his brother. Lucifer shrugs, chuckling as he did. 

"Maybe I am. That's not the point. Dean is about to discover his little friend, and then... Well, let's just say he won't be the same Dean you know and love. The point is, Gabriel's about to cause trouble. And I need you to get rid of him." Lucifer tells him. 

"I will never kill my brother." Cas retorts quickly, making Lucifer laugh out loud. 

"Not voluntarily, no. That's why you're here, in this trap." he continues. Castiel seems to rear back as he realizes what Lucifer was going to do. The angel raises his hand and snaps, causing Cas's vision to blur. 

"Gabriel; dead, before the night is up, or it's your beloved Dean instead." Lucifer adds just before he throws out his hand and sends Cas flying off. 

He woke up in the bunker to see Gabriel standing over him, along with Sam. "Where's Dean?" he asks immediately. Gabriel holds out a hand to help him stand, but Cas ignores it.

"He left. Charlie's dead, Cas, they killed her." Sam says sadly, shaking his head. Castiel felt something in his mind stir as he met Gabriel's gaze. Cas's eyes harden as he stands and extracts his angel blade, lunging toward Gabriel. 

"Woah, Cas!" the archangel exclaims, jumping back. Sam grabs Cas's arm, holding him back. Cas lashes out at him, slicing his arm open in his daze. 

"Cas, what the hell!?" Sam shouts, clapping a hand over the bleeding gash. Magenta blood seeps through the gaps in his fingers, flowing over his hand. Gabriel yells Cas's name, pleading with him as he flies across the room. Cas follows him easily, managing to get a blow to his temple with the sharp end of the blade.

The archangel groans in pain as he moves to stand by Sam, his head bleeding profusely. Sam pushed Gabriel behind him, an arm out for protection. "Cas, stop! I don't know what the hell's going on, but this isn't you! You can fight this!" he shouts. 

Castiel punches him, hard, right in the jaw, sending him sprawling onto the floor, unconscious. Gabriel glares at him, running at him and tackling his brother. "Dammit, Castiel, don't make me fucking do this!" he begs. He raises his hand to smite him.

Cas knees him in the stomach, managing to throw him off. Gabriel growls, standing again. He jumps at Cas, but he dodges and sends Gabriel soaring across the room into the bookcase. Books shower down over him, knocking the wind out of him.

The archangel stays dazed on the floor, grunting in pain as he tries to stand. Castiel walks over, grabbing his shirt collar and punching him a few more times. Blood seeped from his nose, and one of his eyes was bloodshot. A huge bruise was forming on his jaw. Sam stirs, groaning softly. Castiel raises the angel blade, preparing to strike. 

Sam looks up, shock on his face as Cas whirls around at the last second and plunges the blade into the real Gabriel's chest. Blue light pools from his eyes as he yells in pure agony, falling limp into Cas's arms. Cas pulls the blade out with a sickening crunch, blood swimming onto his hands, fingers, and trench coat. 

The other Gabriel fades with a sad look at Sam. Cas seems to snap out of his trance, dropping the soaked angel blade with a clatter and catching Gabriel as he collapses on the ground. 

"Gabriel? Gabriel, what have I done? Please, brother, forgive me for this, for everything." Cas pleads, his voice breaking with emotion. His trench coat was splattered red with Gabriel's blood, and his hands were covered in it too. 

He clutches at Gabriel's jacket, clamping his hand down over the stab wound. He raises his hand to heal him, but of course nothing happens. Sam scrambles over, shoving Cas off and pulling the archangel close. 

He cries over the lost archangel, screaming his name and begging him to come back. He knew he was really gone this time. He could feel it in his heart, his mind, his soul. Castiel had killed Gabriel, but why, Sam didn't know. 

Castiel stares at the lifeless body of his brother in shock, after all of this, Lucifer had been right. He had killed his brother for no other reason than to keep Dean alive, even if the hunter wasn't himself. It didn't make sense.

Cas stands from his spot on the floor, gaping at his work. Suddenly, he woke up back in the dark room, staring up at Lucifer. "You made me murder my brother!" Cas exclaims as he stands and lunges toward him. 

Lucifer chuckles, snapping and rendering Cas immobile. The fallen angel sneers at Castiel gleefully. "Isn't it amazing? And yet you never thought you'd do it. Wanna know how I made it happen?" he wonders. 

"Nothing you say interests me." Cas spits ruefully. How could he have fallen for Lucifer's trap so easily? 

"Oh, but it does, brother. You see, I simple snagged that part of you that longs to protect Dean with everything, and snapped it on. And, of course, giving you the incentive of Gabriel or Dean helped too. You had it in you to kill Gabriel all along, I just breathed life into that little idea." Lucifer explains with a smile. 

"You are wrong. I would never want to kill my brother, even if it did mean Dean was safe." Cas says in disbelief, ignoring Lucifer's eye roll. 

"But you did. I could make you kill Sam if it meant Dean was safe. I could even make you kill yourself, but I won't go that far. At least, maybe not yet." Lucifer giggles maniacally. Castiel glowers at him, trying to get out of the hold the archangel had on him. 

"You would not dare, Lucifer. You are still trapped in the cage, and once I figure out just how you are managing to do this, I will not stop until you are dead." Cas says back, frowning and narrowing his eyes. 

"Well, good luck with that. In the mean time, I'll just be here, having fun and messing with you. The daystar, alive and well and without a single care." Lucifer teases. 

"Daystar?" Cas wakes up in the bunker, seeing Sam staring at the wall silently. "Sam! Lucifer is the daystar! Kevin's prophecy was about Gabriel and Lucifer! And The City is heaven!" he exclaims as he heads over to him. 

"That's great, Cas. Just, leave me alone, you killed him. You murdered your own damn brother, and then just flew off and now you're barging in here like nothing happened!? You just killed my fucking soulmate, and you expect me to help you with this? Well, guess what, I don't fucking care about your shitty ass problems!" Sam snaps harshly, standing and stomping furiously away. 

Cas looked taken aback. Despite the truth in Sam's words, he'd never meant to hurt his brother, much less kill him. The bunker door opens, and Cas turns to find Kevin there. 

The prophet gave him a dark look. Sam had told him. The fact that Kevin knew didn't bother Cas as much as the fact that he didn't speak, even when Castiel tried to ask him something. 

Cas sighs, not even bothering to try again as Kevin walks past. The angel didn't see the hopeful glint in Kevin's eyes, or the bag of food he'd brought for Sam. He didn't even notice that Kevin had actually showered too. 

Not until Sam's voice was carrying to him in the room. Cas stood as Sam speeds out of his room. "Damn, Kevin! Take a fucking hint, I'm not gonna fall for your shit!" he was yelling, making Cas feel a pang in his heart. 

He knew of Kevin's feelings for Sam, they all did, except Sam it seemed. Kevin came out, looking forlorn and upset. Sam slammed the bunker door shut, and Cas very vaguely heard the sound of a car starting. 

"Kevin, despite your feelings and the fact that Gabriel is gone... Gabriel only just left us." Cas tells him. Kevin turns on him then, glaring at him. 

"You fucking killed him! He didn't leave!" he yells before storming away. Castiel sighs heavily, leaning back in the chair he sat in. His shoulders hunched forward as he thinks about this whole thing. Lucifer had possessed him somehow, even though he was still in the cage. 

It didn't make sense to Cas at all. How had he done it? Cas sighs again, closing his eyes to focus. The bunker door opens again, and Cas looks up to see Dean standing there with a hard look. 

"Well, nice job, Castiel. You killed my brother's soul mate, how's it feel? To know you murdered your own damn brother. What happened to family, huh? All that shit you said about wanting to atone for your fucking mistakes!? Is this how you repay your own goddamn family!?" Dean yells, slamming the door shut as he walks up to Cas. 

Cas stands, backing away as Dean advances on him. He didn't stop until the small of his back hit painfully against a shelf on the bookcase, making him wince. Dean sets his hand beside his head, holding him in place against the bookcase and the corner of the wall. 

"Dean, whatever you're about to do-" Cas is cut off by Dean placing his other hand gently on his shoulder. "What..." he trails off. 

"Lucifer visited me in my dream earlier. He told me what he did, Cas... I'm so sorry." Dean tells him softly. Cas looks surprised as Dean leans in to kiss him. This was too much like the old Dean, not the Dean with mark of Cain. 

Cas doesn't complain when Dean pulls him toward his room and onto the bed. He doesn't complain when Dean's hands gently take away all of his clothes and relieves his wings of the stress. And he definitely doesn't complain as their bodies meld together and become one in ways that hadn't happened in what seemed like forever.  
\----  
Dean had been taken by the Styne's. And while Cas and Sam got over there differences, Cas could tell Sam was down. He seemed tired all the time, he hardly ate or slept, and his temper was all over the place. 

They worked together with Rowena again deciphering the book to figure out the ingredients they would need. Sam had been given a hex bag to give to Crowley. He made the call, playing a recording of Dean's voice. 

Then he gave the demon coordinates, and went to deal with him. Cas again stayed with Rowena, resorting to pacing. 

"Do be a dear and come here, will you?" Rowena calls, making Cas turn and walk over. His face was hard, and he raises his eyebrow as he looks down at her. 

"We need something Dean loves. It's the last ingredient in the spell." Rowena tells him, looking up at him with slight worry. Cas's eyes hardened. 

"Something he loves? How much of that something?" he asks her. Rowena sighs softly as she looks back at the book. 

"This... something- or someone- has to give up the very essence that makes them who they are. For a human, their soul... An angel, their... their grace." Rowena says quietly. Cas starts pacing again, shaking his head. 

When it came down to it, he would always choose Dean over anything. So of course he'd give his grace to save his soulmate. The question was, would the spell work? 

"Stop looking at me." Castiel snaps, glancing over at Rowena. 

"I’m sorry. You’re just fascinating. An angel that rejected Heaven. That’s like a fish that wants to fly, or a dog that thinks he’s people." she admits, smiling widely. 

"Well, I'm a lot like people." Cas answers her. 

"Keep tellin' yourself that, dear." Rowena teases, chuckling softly. The door bangs open, and Cas looks up to see Sam. "Well about bloody time." she adds. 

"Where's Dean?" he asks. 

"Dean's gone after the Stynes. You have to find him." Sam says, making Cas nod and turn to fly away. 

"Cas, go find Dean, make sure he hasn't gone too far off the reservation." Sam adds. "Keep him safe." he continues. Cas finally leaves, flying off to the Styne residence. 

Once he gets there, he heads upstairs. He feels his heart tug as he sees the dead bodies. More downstairs, and even more on the lawn. He grabs his phone and calls Sam. 

"Yeah?" Sam amswers. Cas sighs softly. 

"It's me." Cas tells him. 

"Hey. Did you find him?" Sam asks him quickly. Cas shakes his head slightly. 

"Not yet. But I’m at the Styne estate in Louisiana, and... Dean was here." he says. Sam takes a sharp inhale of breath. 

"You sure?" Sam wonders in disbelief. 

"I’m sure." Cas answers definitively. 

"How bad is it?" Sam continues on his line of questioning. 

"There are three bodies down here and more than a dozen upstairs in the main house. He killed... he killed everyone. And brutally." Cas tells him as he looks around. "And... And Kevin is dead as well. One of the Styne's, I'm sure of it." he adds. 

"Alright. I’m on my way." Sam tells him, cringing as Cas relays the information to him. He doesn't mention Kevin, he doesn't want to think about it. 

"No. Don’t bother, Sam. The GPS says he’s headed North." Castiel tells him quickly, almost not wanting it to be true.

"Where?" Sam questions. 

"Home. Dean’s coming home." Cas mumbles, and then hangs up. He continues on his search for Dean, lifting off and flying back toward the bunker. 

He arrives just as a gunshot goes off. He rushes in, seeing the kid collapsing to the floor in a heap. "Dean!" he snaps. Dean turns to face him, obvious shock on his face. 

"What have you done?" Cas asks in shock. He kneels down by Cyrus's body, looking sad. "You killed him." he said. 

"I took down a monster. Because that’s what I do. And I’ll continue to do that until..." Dean trails off and uncocks his gun.

"Until you become the monster." Cas finishes for him, giving him a hard look. 

"You can leave now, Cas." Dean snaps, looking annoyed and pissed off.

"No. I can’t. Because I’m your friend." Cas answers as he stands up and walks over to him. 

"Really? Well let me ask you something. Do you screw over all your friends?" Dean asks in hatred. Cas's skin crawls at the tone.

"Sam and I were trying to cure you! We still are!" Cas replies, raising his voice slightly. Dean rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Like hell." he retorts angrily. 

"We can read the Book now." Cas tells him quickly. Dean scoffs, shaking his head slightly.

"Oh so what? So you might find a spell that might take this crap off my arm?" he motions to the mark. "But even if you do, what’s it gonna cost? ‘Cause magic like that does not come free. No, it comes with a price that you pay in blood. So thanks, but I’m good." he throws his hand out toward Cas and turns to leave. Cas latches onto his shoulder, pulling him back.

"No! You’re not. Maybe you could fight the Mark for years. Maybe centuries, like Cain did. But you cannot fight it forever. And when you finally turn, and you will turn... Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love... they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I’m the one who will have to watch you murder the world. So if there’s even a small chance that we can save you, I won’t let you walk out of this room." Cas says furiously. 

"Oh you think you have a choice." Dean says, more a statement that a question.

"I think the Mark is changing you." Cas glances away from him as he speaks. 

"You’re wrong." Dean shoots back in defiance. Cas's eyes narrow as he glares at Dean, frowning slightly.

"Am I? Because the Dean Winchester I know would never have murdered that kid." Cas growls at him. 

Dean nods slightly. "Yeah well, that Dean’s always been kind of a dick." he tells him. He moves to leave again, but Castiel stops him once again. 

"Dean. I don’t wanna have to hurt you." Cas tells him softly. Dean's eyes harden as he looks up at him.

"I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem." he snarls harshly. He snatches at Cas's hand and twists it off of his shoulder, then punches him right in the jaw with his other fist.

"Dean." Cas says, looking at him with slight fear. Dean punches him again, making Cas cry out in pain as he throws up his hands to shield his face. Dean throws Cas across the room into the pile of books. Cas stands up, his nose dripping blood as he tries to stop Dean again.

"Dean. Stop." he calls softly, he voice small, terrified, pleading with the hunter as he walks away.  
Dean turns on Cas and comes toward him. As he steps forward, he throws a punch that Cas's dodges. The angel grabs him from behind, trying desperately to protect himself and his hunter. 

Dean head butts him hard in the nose, causing Cas to let go and grab at his face as he groans. Dean takes the opportunity to punch him again, his mouth streaming blood and his face bruised. He shoves him onto the table nearby, slamming his head down with so much force, Cas's body jumps up and down. He lets him fall to the ground, kneeling down.

Cas lies on the floor, barely awake and blood spurting from his mouth as he coughs. Dean notices the angel blade, and pulls the it from Cas's trench coat sleeve. He grips his tie tightly, readying the blade above his head to stab him. Cas manages to grab loosely at Dean's wrist, gazing up at him.

"No, Dean. Please." He coughs shortly, thick, red, blood following it. Dean glares down at him, and then his eyes soften. He lowers the blade, and Cas feels like it was all going to be ok. 

Dean smiles down at him, and then plunges the angel blade sharply into Cas's chest, twisting it harshly. Cas's eyes fill with blue light as he lets out a heartbreaking, deafening scream of Dean's name and a please. Light races over Dean's face as Cas's scream stops. 

He looks down at Castiel, his face hard as Cas's head lolls to one side, his mouth still open in a silent scream. He stands up, throwing the angel blade down onto the floor with a dull, metallic thud. 

He doesn't look back as he walks away. He doesn't stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I'd like to apologize for doing this. Also I'd like to apologize for being so inactive on everything lately. I've g through a lot of stuff lately, but it's ok, I'm doing better.


	6. Finally Gone

After all that had happened, Sam had found Cas. He'd found his vessel, that is. Lying on the floor with his eyes wide and his mouth still opened in a silent scream. 

"Oh, God, Cas, no. He- did he do this to you? Oh, God, Cas...... I'm so sorry, Cas. Oh, God....." Sam kneels down by Cas's side, pulling him closer. 

He knows now just how far the mark of Cain had taken Dean. He never would have hurt Cas otherwise, much less killed him. He also knows that means Rowena and he will have a much harder time removing the mark from Dean. 

He feels for a pulse, even though he knows he won't find one. He can see the angel blade on the ground beside him, covered in his blood. Sam shakes his head, sniffling as he sits with Cas's lifeless body on the floor. Finally, as if it'll help, he pulls Cas close and sets his marred, bloody face in his lap. 

"Gabriel visited me in my dream last night, Cas. He told what Lucifer had done to you... I'm sorry, Cas. Sorry you were killed believing I still hated you. Sorry you were killed by the man you love. I'm so sorry." Sam tells him softly. 

He felt like some of this was his fault. If he had stopped Dean from leaving, maybe he wouldn't have been taken by the Stynes, maybe he wouldn't have killed Cas.

"I have to call Rowena. I have to- to tell her. I mean, what are we gonna do, Cas?" Sam shakes his head and pulls his phone out, wiping away the fear tears that escaped. 

Rowena answers on the first ring. "Samuel, how lovely to hear from you again." she says cheerfully. 

"Dean killed him, Rowena. I don't know how we're supposed to help him now, Rowena. I- I- I don't know what to do!" Sam's voice fills with soggy tears as he spoke. 

"Calm down, Winchester. We'll figure something out, alright? Just come in, bring him with you." Rowena tells Sam gently, her voice rising as she tries desperately to calm him down. 

"Ok, ok... I'm- I'll be there soon." Sam answers before hanging up. He stands up, reaching out to lift Cas into his arms. He hurries out of the bunker, gently placing Cas in the backseat of the Impala.   
\----  
He didn't go to Rowena right away. He went back to the bunker to make some witch killing bullets, as a necessary precaution. 

"Anything?" Sam looks up to see Charlie there, a sad smile on her face. Sam clears his throat and shrugs.

"12 voicemails. LoJack on the Impala has clearly been disabled. So a big heaping scoop of nothing. We need Rowena to hold up her end of the bargain- now," Sam says as he finishes the bullet he was on. Charlie sighs heavily. "What?" 

"Nothing. It's- it's just if she takes the mark off using the Book of the Damned... What about the consequences?" Charlie asks, crossing her arms in front of her. 

"Which are what?" Sam wonders. 

"Dean said-" 

"Dean guessed!" Sam interrupts her before she can continue her thought. Charlie frowns at him as she turns away slightly. He takes a deep breath, calming down before continuing. "Charlie, what are we supposed to do, huh? Just sit on our asses, do nothing?" he asks her.

"No, we find Dean!" Charlie snaps furiously, taking to glaring at Sam now. 

"And then what!? The only thing that stopped Cain was death. Do you want to kill Dean? Because I don't. And the only way I know how to save my brother is to cure the Mark. And, yes, I know there will be consequences, but not you, not Dean, not anybody can tell me what those consequences are. So I'm not gonna let my brother d-destroy himself on a guess. We save Dean." Sam tells her as he calms down once again. 

Charlie doesn't say anything else, just walks away and thinks. Yes, of course, Sam was right. Dean was like a brother to her, she'd never be able to kill him. And Sam- well they actually were brothers.   
\----  
Sam takes Charlie with him when he goes to see Rowena. Explains to her what happened between Dean and Cas, and eventually admits he's gone into a very dark place that he doesn't think he'll be able to leave. 

"You can tell me anything, Sam. And I think you'll be ok. You've gotten through worse." Charlie reassures him gently. 

"You know, several years ago we took this case. This kid wouldn't speak, and Dean somehow got through to him. The kid had lost his dad. I used to wonder all the time how Dean had connected with him... How he knew what to say. Then one day I was going through dad's journal, and I found a- an entry. It was about Dean, I was probably about a year when dad wrote it. 

"Anyway, dad wrote all this stuff about how Dean wouldn't talk. We lost our mom, in a fire. To a yellow-eyed demon. And Dean didn't talk for years afterwards. And the reason I didn't know, is 'cause I was too young to remember. Dean shouldn't of had to go through that. 'Dean still hardly talks,' he wrote. Dean was four, Charlie." Sam sighs, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. 

Charlie didn't answer, but she looks over at Sam with her brows pulled together. Sam shakes his head and then kills the engine as they pull up. They both climb out and head inside, Sam grabbing his gun. 

"Hello, there. Just in time for tea- u- unless something on your mind?" Rowena asks, setting her cup down as she looks over at them. 

Five things, actually," Sam tells her as he holds his gun up and cocks the hammer into place. "Hollow tips filled with witch-killing brew." he adds. 

"How exciting for you. Your NRA will be beside themselves with pride." Rowena says in a teasing voice. She takes the tea bag out and sets it off to the side.

"No more games, Rowena. Do the spell now." Sam snaps in a rush, waving the gun in her direction. 

"Or what exactly?" Rowena asks innocently. She stands up abruptly, planting her hands firmly as she did. "Come on, Samuel! You and I both know that's nothing but a bluff. Charlie may have cracked the codex, but who's going to read it if I'm gone? Not to mention handling the ingredients, getting the measurements just right-" her voice rose with anger. "-unless, of course, either of you have spent years of your life studying with the greats, mastering the intricacies of high witchcraft?" Her voice lousy its venom as she continued. "But forgive me. Maybe you have. I know you're upset. We all are. Poor Dean. Let's just have a nice wee cup of tea... and negotiate." she sat back down. 

Sam walks over to her and uncocks his gun," What do you want?" he asks. 

"Oh, well, we know what I wanted. Soiled the sheets on that one, didn't we? Let's talk about what I'll take- my freedom guaranteed and the codex." Rowena smirks down into her cup of tea. 

"Sam you can't be-" Charlie is cut off by Sam once again. 

"Do you know which spell?" Sam questions stubbornly. Rowena hesitates for a moment before answering.

"I do." she assures him, nodding once. 

"Sam. This is a mistake." Charlie says quickly. She didn't trust Rowena, and the way she was acting now only succeeded in making her more suspicious. 

Sam ignores her again, nodding in agreement. Rowena pulls out the codex, the Book of the Damned, and the encryption key so she could decipher everything. 

"Sumsu mimma ezebu ilu ma ikkibu Lu. S- something made by God, but forbidden to man." Rowena tells them the first ingredient. 

"Forbidden?" Sam wonders in confusion. 

"Forbidden fruit?" Charlie suggests suddenly. Sam turns to look at her and shakes his head slightly. 

"No." he said quickly. Rowena nods, making Sam scoff with disbelief. "The actual apple is the first ingredient?" he looks incredulous as he searches their gazes. 

"Sumsu mimma ezebu Lu." Rowena continues decoding. 

"Okay, uh, what's next?" Sam asks, raising his eyebrows in shock.

"Something made by man, but forbidden by God." Rowena replied as she looks up to think. 

"Okay, well, God forbade false idols, right?" Sam says, motioning to Rowena. 

"The Golden Calf." Charlie exclaims. 

"Wasn't that destroyed?" Sam scoffs. Rowena nods again and continues on. 

"Sumsu mimma sen arramu." she reads as Sam and Charlie continue talking.

"Great." Sam mutters sarcastically, rolling his eyes slightly. He clears his throat. "What's the third ingredient?" 

"Oh." Rowena's voice makes Sam look over at her.

"What?" he asks. 

"The third ingredient, it's impossible." Rowena says in confusion. Castiel had been killed, Sam had told her that.

"What is it?" Sam was growing impatient now. 

"Loosely translated- Dean's heart." Rowena tells them softly.

"It's not impossible." Charlie speaks up without warning.

"Not his literal heart, Bradbury. Something he loves, the spell calls for him to kill it." Rowena snaps bitterly. 

"A sacrifice." Sam says.

"Precisely. The book will grant freedom from the curse, but it wants something in return." Rowena was looking down at the book in disbelief now.

"I have him." Sam tells her sadly.

"The problem is Dean's already killed the thing he loves, Samuel." Rowena tells them, her voice rising with fear.

"Well, what now?" Charlie wonders, looking slightly fearful. She knew Rowena wasn't lying about this, she'd already told Cas about this ingredient. And the angel had told her before he'd been killed.

"Bring me his body." Rowena demands as she looks up at Sam.

"I'll go get it. Charlie, stay with her." Sam orders as he motions to Rowena once more. He walks out of the dungeon-like room and to the Impala, pulling Cas out and carrying him inside. 

"Here, set him down on the table, Samuel." Rowena calls, clearing things away to make room for Cas. He gently situated his lifeless body on the table, looking up at the witch in curiosity, and trepidation. 

Rowena places a hand on his chest, closing her eyes. "The grace is still inside him, but only just. I'll have to move quick if I want to get it out." she informs them before grabbing for the blade in Cas's trench coat. 

"Woah!" Sam grabs it from her, holding it away. "No way you're getting this, Rowena." he snaps. 

"I need it to properly extract his grace, Samuel! Give me the blade!" Rowena exclaims frantically, switching between glaring at Sam and then to Cas. "Sam, it's the only way! You must understand!"

Charlie moves forward, grabs the blade from Sam's hand, and thrusts it into Rowena's hands. The witch slits a line in Cas's throat, grabbing a bottle and lifting it as blue light streams from the cut and into it. She clamps the bottle shut and sets it on the table. 

Without warning, Cas's body bursts into ash, a white orb of light escaping and flowing off into the night. "What was that?" Charlie and Sam ask in unison. 

"The soul of his vessel. It was trapped in Castiel's body until I removed his grace and made him human once more." Rowena explains hurriedly. Charlie stares down at where Cas once was. 

"So he's dead. Like for sure, no coming back, no switch?" Sam wonders quietly. He thought he already knew the answer, but he didn't want it to be true.

"Dean stabbed him with an angel blade, the only thing in the entire world that can properly kill an angel. I don' think he'll be coming back anytime soon, Samuel. Deeply sorry." Rowena tells him sadly, shaking her head too. 

"So there's no possible way he can come back, then?" Charlie repeats the question, making Rowena sigh heavily. 

"No way." she says once more. She looks over as Sam's phone rings and he moves away to answer it.

"Rudy. What's up?" he asks, clearing his throat slightly. 

"Wish I could say it was good news, Sam. I just bumped into Dean working a fang banger case in Superior." Rudy answers, as he rustles around in his trunk. 

"Dean's in Nebraska, w-working a case?" Sam wonders in surprise. 

"Yeah, my case. And, uh...He's not playing well with others." Rudy mutters bitterly.

"Yeah, Dean's not exactly in the best place right now. You know what? Do me a favor. Just text me the details, would you?" Sam pleads as he shuffles his feet.

"All right. Whatever you need." Rudy tells him quickly. Anything to help his friend out, especially if it meant he'd figure out what was wrong with Dean. 

"Okay. Thanks." Sam tells him, pulling the phone away and hanging up as he turns back 

Charlie walks up to Sam and raises an eyebrow. "What's going on?" she asks with worry.

"Charlie, take this." Sam gives her a plastic bag filled with light brown hair. "It's Dean's hair. You need it for the spell. Charlie, I need you to do this for me. Make the spell happen whatever it takes, please." he pleads. Charlie takes it from him and nods. 

"Go, Sam. Go find him." Charlie says, patting his shoulder with her hand as he smiled slightly. 

"I will, Charlie. And, thanks...for doing this and- and helping me figure this out." Sam tells her. Charlie rolls her eyes and kicks at his shoe playfully. He turns and leaves then, not looking back.   
\----  
Sam approaches the house, glancing at the ambulance as he did. He can hear the girl repeating a phrase that made him shiver. Everything seems to move in slow motion as he spots her. 

"He just let him die. He just let him die. Just let him die." her voice was small and timid and she was lead by an officer. Sam speeds past them both and into the shack. He stands next to the Sheriff and looks over at him. 

"Agent. Maybe you can tell me what in the hell is going on here." the Sheriff snaps. Sam notices Rudy and another guy dead on the floor. He stares at them, the Sheriff's voice fading off as he gazes at them.

"The way the girl outside tells it is one of your boys came in hot, got his partner killed, then went some kind of samurai on that son of a bitch over there. I knew that boy..." 

Sam furrows his brow, frowning deeply as thoughts whirl through his mind. It doesn't take too long for him to get out of his trance. "Any idea where he could've gone?" he asks. 

"Your agent?" Sheriff looks over at him and Sam nods. "He was staying at a motel just outside o' town. Not sure if he's still there, but you can check. Here's the address." Sam nods as he takes the slip of paper the Sheriff wrote it on. 

"Thanks, Sheriff. I let you know if I find him." Sam tells him. 

"Don't bother. Just find that agent and get him taken care of."   
\----  
Sam arrives at the motel, noticing the Impala sitting in the parking lot. He pulls in beside it and heads up to the room number. Knocking on the door, he calls for Dean. 

"Dean, it's me." There is no answer so he busts open the door, seeing a broken chair by the door. He turns on the lights and looks over the rest of the completely ruined room. As he takes it all in, he can't help but see keys and a note laying out on the mattress. He grabs the keys, and then the note. 'She’s all yours.' 

He sighs as he moves away and walks out of the motel room. His cellphone rings and he answers it to find Dean's number onscreen.

"Dean." Sam says softly.

"I gave it a shot, Sammy." Dean tells him, no further explanation about where he is. 

"Listen to me -- whatever you're doing, whatever you've done, please..." Sam trails off, sighing heavily.

"Hell, I even worked a case. I gave everything I had to beat this thing down." Dean didn't seem to have heard what Sam said.

"I saw. I saw Rudy." Sam tells him sadly.

"Well, then, you saw what I did." Dean says with guilt.

"No, that wasn't you." Sam answers quickly. 

"Sure as hell felt like me." Dean glances back at Death, who is sitting at the table. "Brother, I'm done." he adds.

"No. No, you're not. Dean." Sam interjects. 

"Grab a pen. It's time to say goodbye." Dean tells him quietly. Sam feels his heart drop, as Dean tells him the address and then hangs up. Sam gets into the Impala and drives off.   
\----  
Sam pulls up in the Impala at the restaurant where Dean and Death are. The sun shone too bright for such a solemn moment. He walks in, but stops when he sees Dean in the middle of the restaurant with Death.

"Hey." he greets cautiously.

"Sam." Dean says back.

"What is this?" Sam asks him sadly. 

"We need to talk." Dean tells him. Sam starts walking towards Dean with his hand out toward him. 

"Whatever you are thinking of doing, don't. There is another way. You don't need to go with him. You don't need to die!" Sam exclaims. 

"Funny you say that. Truth is, when I left, I thought the only way out was my death.  
Well, I was wrong, Sam. It's yours." Dean tells him, lifting an eyebrow. Sam takes in a deep breath, looking both confused and worried. 

"What? He's gonna... Gonna send you into outer space?" Sam asks incredulously. Had Dean seriously just suggested his death? 

"No, well, he didn't say outer space." Dean says, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

"This is madness, Dean!" Sam yells as he glares at his brother.

"Far from it, I'm afraid." Death speaks up from his spot by the stage. 

"No one's asking you." Sam snaps harshly. He regretted it instantly, seeing the shocked expression of Death's face.

"Hear him out!" Dean said loudly, narrowing his gaze.

"Our conundrum is simple, Sam. Your brother cannot be killed, and the mark cannot be destroyed, not without inciting a far greater evil than any of us have ever known." Death explains, shifting from his spot.

"What evil?" Sam wonders.

"The Darkness." Dean replies.

"What the hell is that?" 

"Well, what does it sound like? Does it sound like a good thing?" Dean's voice raises again.

"Even if I remove Dean from the playing field, we're still left with you, loyal, dogged Sam, who I suspect will never rest until he sets his brother free-" Death moves around Dean to stand between the two. As he gets to Sam, Dean walks away. Death steps closer to Sam until he is right in his face. "-will never rest until his brother is free of the Mark, which simply cannot happen, lest the Darkness be set free. Then there was that time you stood me up." he finishes.

Sam drops his gaze, looking guilty. He goes up to Dean again. "You traded my life." he finally says.

"I'm willing to live with this thing forever, as long as I know that I and it will never hurt another living thing." Dean tells him.

"This isn't you. This doesn't make any sense." Sam tries to get him to see that this was crazy. 

"No, it makes perfect sense if you stop thinking about yourself for one damn minute!" Dean growls harshly, his voice rising.

"It's for the greater good. Once you consider that, this makes all the sense in the world." Death says gently. Sam pants heavily as he stays between Death and Dean. He looks over to Death and back to his brother.

"Remember when we were in that church, making Crowley human, about to close the Gates of Hell? Well, you sure as hell were ready to die for the greater good then." Dean points out suddenly.

"Yeah, and, Dean, you pulled me back." Sam answers with anxiety.

"And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it." Dean was growing impatient. Why couldn't Sam just see that this was the only way.

"No, no, no, wait a second. You're twisting my words here, Dean." Sam tells him.

"Why? Because we- we track evil and kill it? The family business? Is that it? Look at the tape, Sam. Evil tracks us. And it nukes everything in our vicinity- our family, our friends. It's time we put a proper name to what we really are and we deal with it." Dean tells him with anger.

"Wait a second. We are not evil. Listen... we're far from perfect, but we are good. That thing on your arm is evil, but not you, not me." Sam say quickly. Dean starts pacing, walking toward Sam and then away. 

"I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you- when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into nearly getting herself killed? And to what end? A-a good end? A just end? To remove the mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world." Dean throws his hand out a Sam in growing fury,

"You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew-" Dean smirks, looking away from his brother to Death, who looks bored. "-I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way." Sam was begging for Dean to understand.

Dean looks down, shaking his head. "No, there is no other way, Sam." he looks up at Sam. "I'm sorry." he finally tells him. Sam punches him in the jaw out of nowhere. "Good." Dean grabs the bandana and pulls it off. "Good. Fight." he punches Sam back. 

"Aah! Aah!" Dean groans as Sam throws more punches. They fight viciously, Dean throwing Sam to the ground. As Sam scrambles to stand, Dean punches him savagely in the temple. Dean glares at him coldly and punches him twice more as Sam tries to stand. 

"Ohh! Okay." Sam holds his hands out as Dean looks at him with plain annoyance. "That's enough. Hey, that's enough." he pleads, staying crouched on the ground. His face bleeds as he looks at Dean. "You'll never, ever hear me say that you- the real you- is anything but good." Dean rolls his eyes at the statement. 

Sam looks away, coughing and spitting blood on the ground. When he looks back up, he has tears in his eyes, his voice soft. "But you're right. Before you hurt...anyone else, you have to be stopped at any cost. I understand." Sam sniffles, tears starting to pour as he takes a deep breath and sighs.. He clears his throat quickly. "Do it." he says, nodding in defiance.

Death walks over to Dean and hands him his scythe. Dean turns away from his brother and takes the scythe from him. "Please. Do me the honor." Death tells him softly.

Dean turns back around, Sam still knelt on the floor, looking at the scythe he held. Sam is panting, trying not to cry. Dean looks scared, but looks at Sam with a definitive sigh. Sam takes a deep breath, giving Dean a small nod. Dean squeezes his eyes before sighing. 

"Close your eyes." Dean whispers to him. Tears finally race down Sam’s face as he just stares at his brother.

"Sammy, close your eyes." Dean says again, more in control this time. Sam is about to, but then stops.

"Wait." he reaches into his jacket and takes out photos. "Take these. And one day, when you find your way back... let these be your guide. And they can help you remember what it was to be good...what it was to love." he tells him gently, setting them on the floor in front of him. 

Sam looks down at them, one of their mother and Dean when he was younger, Mary's arms draped around Dean's shoulders. The other was of all of them, Sam still a tiny baby held in Mary's arms. He looks back to Dean who hesitates, looking discordant. 

"It's for family you must proceed, Dean." Death tells him. Dean’s eyes focus from one picture to the other. There is sadness and depression plain in his eyes.

"To be what you are, to become what you've become is a stain on their memory. Do it. Or I will." Death continues on. Dean looks anguished, looking back to Sam. Sam sighs and nods again. The brothers exchange anxious looks with each other for several seconds.

"Forgive me." Dean finally says sadly. Dean steadies his hands, flexing his fingers. He swings the scythe back, so Sam squeezes his eyes closed. 

Dean swings the scythe over Sam's head and plunges it right into Death's chest. Dean looks troubled when he realizes what he's done. Death looks up at him in shock and then bursts, crumbling to dust on the floor. Sam and Dean glance at each other in surprise.

"You okay?" Dean asks, helping Sam up. His face still bled freely.

"I'll live. You?" Sam wonders, looking at Dean with worry. 

"Fantastic. I think I just killed death." Dean jokes dryly. Sam rolls his eyes slightly. Dean turns away toward the stage, looking surprised. A sudden shrieking sound seems to echo through the darkening daylight.

"That sound right to you?" he asks Sam, turning back to him. Lightning streams through the roof and hits Dean right where the mark of Cain is. His arm and the mark glow with heat, crackling. 

"Ah! Ah." Dean grabs at his arm as pain courses through him, gritting his teeth. The mark fades away. The lightning seems to melt off of Dean’s arm as it races back through the roof. Dean falls to his knees as a deep seated wave of anguish roars through him faster than anything. 

Sam kneels by his side, dragging him toward the door. "Dean, what's wrong?" 

"Oh, God.... Cas! I- I- I killed him! I killed my baby...please no, no, I- no." Dean's eyes were filling with tears that pour down his face. He didn't want this pain, why was the mark of Cain able to drive him so far? 

"No, Dean, no, it's ok. Come on." Sam manages to get Dean standing and pulls him through the door.

"This is good. Dean, this is good. The- the mark is off your arm. Nothing crazy happened. You get your car back." Sam hands Dean the keys for the Impala.

"Yeah. I'm sure everything's perfectly fine. Not to mention I killed my damn soulmate." Dean says sarcastically. As they walk away from the restaurant, there is a deafening sound. They look up to the sky simultaneously. 

"What?" Sam wonders. The sky glows bright orange as lightning hits the ground in front of them. It sparks across the sky and strikes the ground at random all around Sam and Dean.

"What did Death call this?" Sam asks. 

"The Darkness." Dean answers. The ground starts rumbling and opens, black smoke shooting up from the spots where the lightning struck. They meld into one huge, rolling cloud of black smoke. They look stunned, the cloud starting to sway and move towards them.

"Get in the car." Dean says, pushing Sam toward it.

"Yeah. Let's go, let's go!" Sam agrees, pulling Dean along with him. They scramble into the Impala and Dean rushes to back away. Without warning they sink and stop, the rear wheel stuck in a large hole. Dean slams his foot on the gas, the tire spinning uselessly in the muck-filled hole. He sticks his head out the door, glaring at the tire as if that would help. Sam stares out the windshield, grabbing Dean's jacket and tugging.

"Dean." Sam says. Dean hurries back in, the cloud barreling straight towards them for what seems like forever before finally encasing the car completely. "Dean!" Sam's voice calls again, but everything is dark.   
\----  
Sam looks around as the cloud continues rushing over him. Dean has suddenly disappeared. "Dean!? Dean!?" he calls frantically, hoping his brother isn't hurt. His head aches where Dean hit him, but he shakes his head.

He suddenly wakes up, the Impala's horn blaring loudly in his ears. The dark cloud had vanished.

"Dean?" he calls, getting out of the car and hurrying to find Dean. He comes across him, laying unconscious in a field of flowers. "Hey! Hey!" Dean wakes up as he calls to him, groans, and stands up. "You okay?" 

"Yeah. Where's the car?" Dean asks groggily. He looks around with one eye closed, adjusting to the light. 

"I-i-it's...About a mile that way." Sam answers as he motions back from where he'd come. Dean looks over at him in confusion.

"What?" he asks.

"Seriously? The- the darkness hit. You disappeared. You remember none of this?" Sam wonders in bewilderment. Dean about it a few seconds.

"She saved me." he finally says. 

"What? Who?" Sam questions quickly. 

"The Darkness." 

"Wait a second. What do you mean, she saved you?" Sam's voice raises in confusion.

"You were there. When the storm hit, everything went dark." Dean tells him with a shrug.

"Yeah, but you just disappeared from the car." Sam looks a bit annoyed at Dean's train of thought.

"I don't even remember that." Dean says simply.

"Well, I don't remember some woman pulling you out." Sam snaps, not really meaning to be so short with him.

"Well, what do you want me to say, okay? I was in the car, and then I wasn't in the car. I was in the field, and she was there." Dean says back bitterly.

"And she told you she was the darkness." Sam says it as more a statement.

"No. She was wearing a nametag. What do you think? She thanked me." Dean explains next.

"For what?" 

"Setting her free." 

"You didn't set her free. I set her free." Sam points out. Dean rolls his eyes, sighs heavily as he does.

"Does it matter? I mean, yeah, you said the spell, but I had the mark, so lock and key." Dean shrugs again.

"So, what, now she feels indebted to you or something?" Sam wonders.

"I don't know. She's a Darkness. Does she feel anything?" Dean questions with a troubled look. 

"And that's all she said? Thanks?" Sam seems upset. 

"Yeah. She was weird. But she had this energy about her, this- this focus. But, yeah, not a talker." Dean admits with a slight sigh.

"So we know jack." Sam points out. 

"Well, we know what she looks like, and we know that she's evil. The question is, what does she know? I mean, she's been locked away since the beginning of time. Does she even know what a cheeseburger is? All I know is that we set her free, and we're gonna put her back in, no matter what it takes." Dean climbs into the car, which is unfortunately still stuck. "What the...Just gonna let me get in the car?" he looks up at Sam in annoyance.

"You were on a roll." Sam chuckles as Dean gets out. He helps him lift the Impala and then shoves it out of the hole. With the two of them it was really easy, which Sam found he was excited about. 

After finding out the full extent of the Darkness and being trapped in a hospital while Dean got the cop out, Sam ended up getting infected. When Dean called him, he gave away nothing. He didn't want Dean to know, not right now. He'd just gotten the mark of Cain off, lost his soulmate due to it, he didn't want this to pressure him. 

He got progressively worse. Voices echo in his head and he finally breaks down and calls Dean. 

"Dean, listen. I- I got infected, ok. And I'm- I don't know, Dean, I'm not feeling so hot, man. I just want you to know-" 

"Hey, woah, woah. Don't you dare start a goodbye speech, Sammy. Not you. I can't lose you too, Sam. I've already lost Cas, and we've lost Gabriel. So many more, man, and I can't keep doing it." Dean seems to choke on his words.

Sam couldn't remember a time when Dean had told his feelings on something so easily. "Ok, I'll see you then, Dean." he could hear tires screeching, probably Dean making a u-turn, coming back. 

And then the line beeps and goes dead. He sends Dean a text later, telling him what the reaper had said.  
\----  
Dean arrives at the hospital and frantically scours the place for Sam. He made his way through to the chapel to see Sam hunched over, sides heaving. "Sammy!" he hurries over, pulling him close. 

"Dean, I-" Sam groans and clutches tightly at his stomach. Dean can feel tears welling up in his eyes as he holds Sam close. 

"Come on, Sam. You can fight this, huh. Come on!" Dean exclaims, shaking his shoulders. Sam's eyes flick up to meet his gaze, but they're dead and lifeless. They're not even shining with hope anymore.

"Dean, I'm proud of us too." Sam manages to cough out through his haze, reaching up to pat Dean's cheek like he'd done what seemed like so long ago.

And then his hand falls and his body relaxes as he lets out a heavy breath. Dean shakes his shoulders again. "Sam?" he calls, his voice cracking. He bites his lip to hold back a sob, rocking him forcefully.

"Sammy? Sammy!? Dammit, Sammy, not you! Not like this!" Dean was screaming now, openly sobbing as he clutches Sam close to his chest. He cradles him like he used to do, tears falling down his cheeks. 

He wasn't just crying for Sam, anymore. He was crying for Gabriel and Castiel now too. For Kevin and Bobby, and for Charlie who had been killed by an infected. He couldn't stand losing everyone he loved. 

"You can't leave me, Sam. I'm nothing without you, I always have been. My only purpose was to keep you safe, and, dammit, I failed at that pretty fast. And now... Now I can't bring you back. I'm left without my little brother." Dean's voice cracks and breaks as he speaks through his sobs. 

Then suddenly he was mumbling the lyrics to Hey Jude to calm himself and to bring a bit of closure. He didn't even know the whole song, so he just hums until he gets to the part he knows.

"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Sam, refrain...Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool...By making his world a little colder. Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah..." Dean sings through his crying, shoulders shaking and making the words waver. He's not sure why he replaces Jude with his brother's name, but it feels right.

"Hey Sam, don't make it bad." Before Dean can continue, his voice falters and fades away. He sniffs hard, Sam still wrapped tight in his strong, supportive arms. His body was limp in them, but he curls closer to his brother and closes his eyes. He can feel sleep dragging him down farther and farther. 

But he doesn't sleep. He just wipes away his tears and readies a pyre to give his little brother a proper hunter's burial. After a drawn out silence as he watches Sam's body burn, he finally speaks up.

"I love you, Sammy. I- I've never said it before, but I do. You're my little brother, the one I was supposed to protect." Dean hesitates before continuing. "I'll admit, we had our differences. Lots of 'em, but dammit if I didn't want you safe with every fiber of my being. And now you're gone, and I just... I don't think I can take it anymore, Sammy. I am sick and tired of seeing people I care about die, and fuck, I'm done with it. First thing tomorrow I'm taking out this damn Darkness. 

"And then I'm gonna join you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried several times writing this chapter. Several being like every time I wrote something even remotely emotional down.


	7. Endings Are Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's beginning. Only one will remain, but it shall be no one. Only one will remain, but it shall be strong. Only one will remain, but it shall be mistaken. Only one can remain, but it shall save all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the final chapter of Shatter. There will be one more installment, just a chapter of Kevin's last prophecy.

Dean packs up all his things and leaves. After weeks of working with Crowley on cases and growing stronger and gaining information about Amara, he feels like he's ready. It seems like years ago he lost Sam and Cas, but he knows it was only a few months ago. 

Nothing is the same anymore. He solves the case, he kills the bad thing ruthlessly. And then nothing. He can't kiss Cas anymore, he can't talk to Sam about anything. The only person he has left now is Crowley, and honestly, screw him. Dean couldn't care less about that demon. All he wanted was his little brother back, his soul mate back. 

Dean clutches the knife tightly, his knuckles going white. Abaddon, Lucifer, and he had found a way to make the knife able to kill Amara. It took so much time, more than Dean thought it should have, but he knew it would work. 

Amara was inside, Crowley had managed to lure her in. Despite the obvious things that could go wrong, Dean is sure he can fix this. He's sure he can kill her.   
\----  
"Dean, just give me the knife and we can fix this," Amara reaches out toward Dean, a kind smile on her face. She had Crowley trapped against the wall, and Dean was free to do as he wished. Amara had a good argument. She could bring Sam and Cas back, but only if Dean gave her the knife. 

"Don't listen to her Dean! She's nuts and sh-" Crowley groans as Amara shoves him back with her hand to shut him up. 

"All you have to do is give me the knife, Dean. And I'll bring back Sam and Castiel. I can bring them back, I have the power to," Amara's voice softens when she talks to him. 

Dean glances between Crowley and her, fighting in his mind to make the right choice. He takes a step forward and reaches out to hand her the knife. Amara smiles and steps toward him too, making sure to keep Crowley pinned. 

Dean reaches the knife out to her, and she extends her hand to take it. Finally, Dean grabs her arm and lunges forward, plunging the knife straight into her stomach. Amara gasps sharply and Dean twists the blade in further. Her eyes widen in pain before blinding lights fill the room, streaming out from her mouth and eyes as she screams shrilly. 

Dean is forced to close his eyes and shield himself as Amara's body explodes in a shower of black smoke that dissipates as soon as it comes out. Dean opens his eyes to see Amara's body shriveling on the floor, ashes and smoke surrounding it. 

"Is that it?" Dean asks, turning to see Crowley walking up to the remains. 

"Seems a bit anticlimactic doesn't it?" Crowley shrugs slightly and stuffs his hands in his pockets. 

"Right. Ok, let's go," Dean turns away to leave but stops when he hears a strange noise. High pitched ringing, growing louder and louder. The windows in the room shake and rattle with the sound, and Dean finally claps his hands over his ears and squeezes his eyes shut. Crowley had disappeared somewhere once the sound had started. 

The ringing grows louder so that Dean falls to his knees and starts screaming at the sheer intensity. Just as he feels blood welling in his hands from his ears, it stops and he is left panting in the middle of the room with broken glass surrounding him. 

There is an odd moment where he thinks that if he only opens his eyes, Cas will be there; whole and alive. So, when he finally does open his eyes and uncurl himself, he is only slightly surprised to find Lucifer standing in front of him. 

"Hello, Dean," Lucifer greets softly. "One little thing I forgot to tell you about that blade," he adds. 

"Let me guess, it sets you free. I don't control you anymore, is that it?" Dean asks as he sets his hands on the ground to help him stand. He groans softly as he does so, glaring at Lucifer the whole time. 

"Well, there's that. I just wanted to tell you that I'm back. And this time? there's no way you're taking me down. Little Sammy's gone. And you are left as just a sad, insignificant, depressed little man with no more power," Lucifer smirks at his own words. 

"Yeah, well, I already told Sam I was gonna join him after I killed that son of a bitch. I'm done with saving the world, and I'm done with sacrificing everything I care about for this piece of shit rock," Dean laughs at himself. 

"Done? You're going to leave the world defenseless?" 

"There's other hunters, Lucifer. Let them ruin their lives, because I'm done. In fact, you can do the honors. Kill me," Dean holds the knife out toward him, almost insisting he take it. 

"Please, Dean, I couldn't kill you. I like messing with you too much. Besides, I don't think you deserve death. You deserve to sit up here and rot with your thoughts, alone and miserable without your brother and soul mate," Lucifer grins evilly and takes a triumphant step toward Dean. 

"You don't have to kill me, that's fine. I'll kill myself," Dean retorts as he holds to knife to his own chest. 

"I'll bring you back," Lucifer smirks at his quick thinking. 

"Bullshit. You can't pull me back if I'm in heaven," Dean snaps. He twirls the blade in his hands as Lucifer inspects him. 

"I'll make sure you arrive safely back where you belong, Deano. You'll go to hell and I'll bring you back. You can try again and again to kill yourself, and I will bring you back to life every... single... time," he crosses his arms as he speaks. 

"God won't let that happen to me. I'm too important to him," Dean os bluffing, but he hopes there is some truth to his words. 

"Oh, please, you're not worth anything to my father. If you mattered, he'd have already done something about this, but nice try," Lucifer chuckles coldly, eyes flashing a deep, terrifying shade of red. Dean narrows his eyes and takes a step back from him, trying desperately to think of something clever to say. 

"That's enough, Lucifer, just kill him already," Abaddon appears beside Lucifer with her arms crossed and a smirk on her bright crimson lips. "He's not worth the effort anyway. There's nothing he has to offer," she adds cruelly. 

"Oh, hush, Abs, I'm not going to kill him. Just look at how desperate he is. Do you really want to give him peace of mind?" Lucifer asks her with surprise. Dean rolls his eyes, glaring at the knife in his hands with obvious thoughtfulness. 

Abaddon sighs roughly at the nickname and turns to say something to Lucifer. As she does, Dean plunges the knife into his stomach deep and twists. Lucifer's eyes widen as Dean coughs up thick blood that dribbles down his chin in a stream. 

The knife in his hands falls to the floor as he collapses to his knees, coughing and clutching at his stomach. "What, no, no this isn't supposed to happen! Dean, that's not how it's supposed to happen!" Lucifer's voice is frantic as he kneels by Dean's side and tries to pull him up. 

Dean yanks his arm away and gags on the blood in his mouth, eyes drooping as he loses more and more life. Finally, they close and he sees a bright light and shadowy figures. He feels warm and safe.

"Dean!" a familiar voice calls his name and as he turns he notices Sam and Cas, standing side by side. Both are full of life, whole and happy. A large smile breaks onto his face as he hurries to their sides, hugging them at the same time as tightly as he can. Cas's doesn't return the hug at first, but once Dean pulls away from them, he brings him back. His arms wrap firmly around Dean's waist and he buries his face in the hunter's neck. 

"God, Cas, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't want to, I'm sorry," Dean whispers. Instead of answering, Cas pulls away and kisses him fiercely, pressing close. Dean's hands skip to his hips, yanking him even closer, and skimming his tongue over Cas's soft lips to ask for entrance. 

"Still here, guys. Why don't you have sex back at the....thing," Sam clears his throat, making Dean and Cas slowly separate with a smacking sound. 

"Yes, please," Dean agrees with a wicked grin that has Cas rolling his eyes. 

"Very crude, Dean. Guess who else is here?" Cas suddenly asks as he looks to Dean, smiling. 

"I don't know, man, who?" 

"Everyone. Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Kevin, Mary, Jessica, Pamela, Ash, Andy, Victor, Deanna, Adam, and Gabriel," Cas grins as Dean's own smile widens in his happiness. 

"That's great, Cas, really. There any way.... you- uh- found.... dad?" Dean wonders shyly. Cas and Sam exchange a look before Sam finally shakes his head. 

"Haven't seen him, Dean. Mom said he didn't make it up here," he tells him sadly, not meeting his gaze. Dean doesn't answer.  
\----  
After greeting everyone at the Roadhouse with hugs and hellos and happy smiles, Dean takes Cas's hand and leads him to a door he knows is his heaven. Ash had connected all of their heavens to his own, so they could all visit and drink. But now, Dean was ready to reacquaint himself with Cas alone. 

"I missed you, Cas, you have no idea. I wanted you back so bad," Dean whispers as they fall into the safety of the comfortable bed together. Their lips met in desperate kisses as they pull at each other and breath their air. 

"I love you, Dean. I love you," Cas says on repeat, like a prayer. His hands roam Dean's skin, finding their way to the hem of his shirt and pulling it off. Dean mimics the action with Cas's own shirt, hands gripping onto his arms as they grind into each other. 

Dean breaths a small moan as Cas's hand moves down to run at the growing bulge in his jeans. The hunter pulls away to take them off, along with his boxer, watching quietly as Cas does the same. There is a silent moment as they drink each other in, relearning every curve and imperfection. 

Dean is the first to move, reaching down to stroke gently at Cas's already hardening cock. Cas groans, hands tightening around Dean's arms as his hips buck involuntarily. As if suddenly realizing something, Cas jerks and slips away from Dean's hand. 

"What is it?" Dean asks with worry, raising an eyebrow as Cas crawls lower on the bed. His head lowers and Dean finds himself out of breath as Cas's warm mouth surrounds his dick, tongue lapping at the precum and sending waves of pleasure rippling up to Dean's head. 

He reaches down and runs his hands through Cas's hair, relishing in the feeling of his soft tongue tracing circles against the heat of his cock. He lets a moan fall from his lips, filling the room with noise as he finally allows himself the pleasure. 

After all he'd been through, this was something he could give himself. He was finally safe and nothing was going to change that this time. 

When Cas pulls off, a wet sound follows his leave and he moves to kiss Dean again. He can taste himself in Cas's mouth, and for once he doesn't care. Their hips move together as they grind into each other's space. 

The echo the other's moans, needy and keening as they roll together. Gentle and loving, holding the other and ridding the stress and tension of earth. Cas moves away again, and lines himself up before tenderly slipping inside Dean. 

"Oh, God, Cas, fuck me," Dean's voice is tight and pleading, but Cas doesn't oblige his cries. He moves slowly, gingerly thrusting into him like Dean would break if he went any faster. 

Dean sighs as Cas finally starts to move a bit faster, the slick sound of skin hitting skin reverberating through the room as he meets his thrusts with his own. Cas's loose hand reaches down to stroke Dean just as slow as his hips. 

"Fuck, Cas, fuck," Dean's voice raises an octave in his ecstasy. He could feel the familiar heat rising in the pit of his stomach. He was growing desperate now, needing the release. 

Just as he think he's about to explode, Cas pulls away and returns his mouth to Dean's cock. "Cas, I'm gonna-" before he finishes the strangled sentence, his release swarms through him and he cums into Cas's mouth. To Dean's surprise, Cas swallows every drop. 

At this point, Dean is exhausted, but knows Cas's own dick has neglected. He pulls Cas up to kiss him, the salty tang of his own cum filling his mouth as he reaches down to fist Cas's cock. Cas sucks in a sharp breath and in a few moments is cumming over Dean's hand and stomach. 

They lay with each other for hours, smiling and kissing and laughing. Dean's arms wrap around Cas's waist, pulling him close. His eyes close, and he falls asleep, for once sure that when he wakes up everything will be fine.

And everything was.


End file.
